I've been building up the nerve (desperation...) to get into this world, figuring I'd start at a strip mall type "legit" place with a HE. I've driven by some of the places discussed here and they always look appropriately discreet, sometimes too discreet with full drapes and windowless door and nothing but a neon "open" sign to indicate a sign of life, which I honestly find pretty intimidating (total boy scout wimp here).
Do you typically just walk in randomly and ask for a massage and they'll presume my intentions and take it from there, or do you call ahead and make an appointment with someone specific?
Any east bay recs for a least awkward first experience? I don't even care about the quality of the masseuse or massage or extra, just want it to go through the mechanics of it as nerve and drama free as possible.
What I assume will happen since I don't know what I'm doing and only had 2 legit massages in my life:
"what kind of massage do you want?"
"uh, full body I guess?"
"okay wait here with these 5 other people"
male masseuse walks toward me...
"oh, uh, I prefer a female masseuse"
"oh, okay"
male masseuse and manager look annoyed
I sit back down feeling like a perv getting grossed out looks from legit patrons
female masseuse comes out, takes me to room
"undress to your comfort level"
okay, my fat ass goes full nakie on the table face down
regular massage happens
roll over
more regular massage. maybe I even get some pathetic half-chub going whether I mean to or not.
no hints, no "accidental" junk touch, nothing to imply extra may happen
I leave confused and embarrassed
I'm way overthinking this, right?
Do you typically just walk in randomly and ask for a massage and they'll presume my intentions and take it from there, or do you call ahead and make an appointment with someone specific?
Any east bay recs for a least awkward first experience? I don't even care about the quality of the masseuse or massage or extra, just want it to go through the mechanics of it as nerve and drama free as possible.
What I assume will happen since I don't know what I'm doing and only had 2 legit massages in my life:
"what kind of massage do you want?"
"uh, full body I guess?"
"okay wait here with these 5 other people"
male masseuse walks toward me...
"oh, uh, I prefer a female masseuse"
"oh, okay"
male masseuse and manager look annoyed
I sit back down feeling like a perv getting grossed out looks from legit patrons
female masseuse comes out, takes me to room
"undress to your comfort level"
okay, my fat ass goes full nakie on the table face down
regular massage happens
roll over
more regular massage. maybe I even get some pathetic half-chub going whether I mean to or not.
no hints, no "accidental" junk touch, nothing to imply extra may happen
I leave confused and embarrassed
I'm way overthinking this, right?