At a crossroads.....

I've actually had "relationships" with 4 of them.
And a 5th was a near "relationship".
They all were quite disastrous to some degree.

At this point I try not to do that type of thing anymore.

The only relationship scenario I can see working for me is one in which my SO goes with me to have threesomes with providers or otherwise is aware that I see escorts. But her having sex with another man is a dealbreaker. She can have sex with another woman but only when I'm having sex with the woman as well. I'm just your typical man in this regard.

Thanks Slim. Mind to share what kind of disastrous you have experienced? Is it money? Other men? Or some other thing we are not awared of ?

Money.
The Captain Save-a-Ho cape is permanently in cold storage.
Plus, they were all kind of nuts to some degree.
And pathological liars.
#1 and #5 were pretty heavy into drugs, as well.

I'm not going to comment on the emotional issues you've described here, other than to say that I hope you do find that someone who makes you happy. In the meantime, however, one does not have to be Warren Buffett to know that going into debt for this thing is an extremely bad idea. It's like the casino or the racetrack. You should spend only what you can afford to lose.

Were they all Chinese? No prejudice. Just curious.

None were Chinese.
1 = White American (worst druggie and most f-d up background)
2 = Dominican American (worst liar, although they all were bad)
3 = Korean (best person of the group. A floor girl who became an MMS. But only 7 years younger than me. Too old and not pretty enough)
4 = Korean (worst at making me feel sorry for her. by far the costliest -- I will not get into the numbers)
5 = White American (to her credit she was not a leech. I'll give her that. by far the prettiest. a legit 10. Also BY FAR the craziest)

that’s terrible. I do have crush on a escort girl but after reading your story i better be back off I think .

Glad I could help!
Not saying it is impossible, but I would it is extremely unlikely.

Not a wise idea young man.

I'd like to hear from mongers around my age or older who have been doing this for 10+ years.
Been doing this for 13 years

How has this hobby effected you mentally?
It used to be a guilt trip for me when I was in my early to mid twenties. I would wonder what is wrong with me and if the closest I'll get to having an attractive woman loving me is a whore that I got to pay for. But then I went through personal development, and got better at meeting/dating girls. Once I knew I could pull girls normally and consistently with my own personality, as well as forming meaningful and healthy friendships/relationships with them, doing this hobby seemed like more of a supplement than an necessity.

How do you deal with the loneliness in the long term if you are single?
Life is what you make of it. The good things in life won't be handed to you on a silver platter. Cuz if it does, then you wouldn't really appreciate it. I used to hate the loneliness, and did everything I could to not be alone. Especially after a heartbreak or a terrible relationship. But after a while, I really started enjoying the loneliness and quietness, because it takes inner strength to be alone and to be okay with being alone. Plus, I get to eat all the snacks and drinks whatever I want to drink without sharing.

And how do you keep it from your SO or otherwise feel about cheating on them?
Good question. I live two lives. And I can live both happily. I've come to terms that I'm a selfish asshole and I don't guilt trip myself anymore. I have fun mongering, and when I'm at home I give love and attention to the SO. It's not perfect, but it's never perfect.

I will admit that this hobby could get some introverted guys to start opening up. When I was young, I did not go to AMPS, but was picking up fat lipped women on the street for a nice BJ. When I was out in the parties or the bar at night, I have no concerns about striking out. I had no need to impress women and buy them drinks. If a conversation started and all went well, great, a relationship seed was planted. If I struck out that night, a BJ for 20 bucks was readily available.

Trust me I know. I used to be good with money before this became a hobby. The thing is I'm a very, very horny dude. I often daydream about sex and catch boners on the job. It seems like the more sex I have, the more sex I want. I feel like the only way I can control my spending is to get an SO or masturbate to porn which comes with its own set of problems. I want to start cutting down sometime in November or December.

Interesting conversation here.

I am somewhat similar to Slim. Never married. It's just been a long run of ladies, mostly the ones I can rent.

If there is one thing I like about being retired and financially independent is that I have no fucking bosses.

As one who found a SO with a sex drive at least as strong as mine (pre-menopause), you might want to pursue a woman. If she's "interesting", she'll change with your needs (and you with hers). Open relationships, swinging, manage a trois, etc., all becomes available with the right girl. Been there, done that. Her reaching menopause ended everything for me. Tried the escort thing, too risky (and the girls are CRAZY), tried the "affair" thing (had to draw on a husband, fuck that shit), and the single mistress thing (eventually they want you to leave your wife, not happening). AMPS turned out to be the best of both worlds. A nice mix of beautiful women until you find a good one, then pretty decent "relationships" until the INS begins to call. I used to visit DR once a year (big liars, crazy as hell, but BOY OH BOY, and not very expensive).

I am probably not as well-invested as some who posted here, but assets measure well for me to continue as I work toward retirement. In less than a year, I hope to be mortgage-free, which is more cash flow. Unless you have a decent income, investments, or a woman who will work with you, this lifestyle can be extremely expensive. Not at all worth going into debt over.

What are the problems you see with porn? Whatever they are, they don't compare with going into debt to support AMP visits.

I've gone through long periods of whacking off every day to porn. And while porn has gotten more abusive in recent years, I've had no trouble separating those fantasies from the real life relationships.

This is very close to my experience, too. Perhaps in addition to "selfish asshole" I'd add "perpetual adolescent". My SO is my best friend, and has been for a very long time. But I like the adventure of different sex partners. And I especially like, and this is the adolescent part, the illusion of seduction that comes with getting more and more from a provider, up to a line I won't cross. That line is that I don't do FS, partly out of loyalty to the SO, and partly as a lifeline of defense in case I'm ever discovered.

Yeah you're right. I'm gonna really cut down in a month or so. I just want to see some providers on my list first. In regards to finding an SO, she would need to be very open minded. Also, like I said earlier, I don't think I would be comfortable with her fucking other men. She can have sex with other women but only if I'm having sex with the other woman as well. I'm a typical male in this regard.

My problem with porn is its the junk food of sex. I tend to binge on it. Once I start to abuse it, I get delayed ejaculation and porn induced erectile dysfunction when having sex with a real live woman.

Here is my two cents. There is always good women in this world, but you only one body. Health matters. Time to build up a good wellness plan so you can last longer.