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Married Mongers

Micawber

Review Contributor
Messages: 173
Reviews: 18
Joined
#1
Gentleman,

Just wondering if you married fellas all go through the peaks and valleys as I do after a visit. The slight pang of guilt that soon subsides as I look forward to the next visit.

I have a beautiful Asian wife whom I love very much and I'll give her anything in the world but I can't resist the experience of having sex with strangers (mind you, I don't cheat with women at the bar or work etc. I always pay). I love the whole build up and teasing during a massage and the mystery of how it will unfold.

I know it's against the very fabric of our biological make up to not mess around, but am I a horrible person?
 

Chiparlor

Has Decided to Walk on Earth.
Messages: 2,604
Reviews: 38
Joined
#4
Sharing your experience with us and asking us if you are a horrible person is not our position to judge because of the fabric of our beliefs. I understand you are sharing and asking us for opinion or maybe some help. To determine if you are a horrible person will have to come from your inner self. When I was married or with a significant other (SO), I did not seek additional entertainment outside my relationship because it was/is just me. We did not work things out like we wanted, and I left. Married mongers seeking additional entertainments outside their relationships are adults and can find anything they need or want to fill missing gaps to keep their lives exciting whether it be hunting, writing book, swinging, and so on. Your wife or SO may think it is horrible if she find out. I do not know. Point: If you have some guilt, that is something you may want to analyze yourself and decide from there. If you do not have guilt, then continue doing what you want to do. You have your own powers to handle to your best abilities.
 

chunfun

I got lipstick stamps on my passport...
Messages: 713
Reviews: 21
Joined
#7
I disagree that monogamy is in the very fiber of our being. It is a learned trait that has served our species well over time, but has roots in human biology/physiology (the long incubation period requires a support system for mother and child).

That said, I was once monogamous. It went a familiar route. The honeymoon, the routine, the thrill is gone, affairs, menopause, and mongering. I felt guilt after my first affair. Now, I feel no guilt whatsoever. If my wife doesn't know, she should. I don't $#!+ where I eat, but obviously my needs are being met, because I haven't gone crazy and I still treat her like a queen.

I have gone deep with several providers. Love? I don't know if it was love, but deep attraction and affection on both sides. Some remain in contact in spite of time and distance. Love hurts when you do it right.

It has been my experience that women have their own "secrets". Both wives and providers are women, and both are less truthful and/or faithful than most men would dare believe. Both wives and providers will haul out the righteous indignation when you call them out!
 

vman1970

Review Contributor
Messages: 1,077
Reviews: 43
Joined
#8
Yeah, the thrill of being with different woman combined with the lack of physical contact at home is my reason and no I don't feel guilty. With escorts I like to have them tell me they are better than my wife, but I'm twisted like that. Just too mnay games I have to play at home to try and get some, so when I don't have the energy, I have my go to's.
 

Koujiao

Review Contributor
Messages: 970
Reviews: 14
Joined
#9
Sharing your experience with us and asking us if you are a horrible person is not our position to judge because of the fabric of our beliefs. I understand you are sharing and asking us for opinion or maybe some help. To determine if you are a horrible person will have to come from your inner self. When I was married or with a significant other (SO), I did not seek additional entertainment outside my relationship because it was/is just me. We did not work things out like we wanted, and I left. Married mongers seeking additional entertainments outside their relationships are adults and can find anything they need or want to fill missing gaps to keep their lives exciting whether it be hunting, writing book, swinging, and so on. Your wife or SO may think it is horrible if she find out. I do not know. Point: If you have some guilt, that is something you may want to analyze yourself and decide from there. If you do not have guilt, then continue doing what you want to do. You have your own powers to handle to your best abilities.
And if you made a promise of monogamy to someone else, for better or for worse, and when worse comes you break that promise, and have no guilt? What do you suggest?

Wonder why? Avoid the topic? Blame it on being a man? Confess to a priest?
 

VJLUTZ

Desire is the opposite of death.
Messages: 1,629
Reviews: 17
Joined
#10
And if you made a promise of monogamy to someone else, for better or for worse, and when worse comes you break that promise, and have no guilt? What do you suggest?

Wonder why? Avoid the topic? Blame it on being a man? Confess to a priest?
For some of us, our wives have stopped wanting to have sex. In my case, after menopause, my wife decided she was done with it. Other than that, she is a great partner. I have no desire to kick-her-to-the-curb for a younger (wildcard) woman. That would break her heart, alienate our kids make me feel like shit and (as an added bonus) cost me a fortune. But the problem is that we are still men. Some of us thought we were taking a vow of matrimony, not a vow of celibacy. Mongering is not perfect, but in many ways it is the lesser of the evils.
 

Roadrunner6941

Review Contributor
Messages: 861
Reviews: 37
Joined
#11
For some of us, our wives have stopped wanting to have sex. In my case, after menopause, my wife decided she was done with it. Other than that, she is a great partner. I have no desire to kick-her-to-the-curb for a younger (wildcard) woman. That would break her heart, alienate our kids make me feel like shit and (as an added bonus) cost me a fortune. But the problem is that we are still men. Some of us thought we were taking a vow of matrimony, not a vow of celibacy. Mongering is not perfect, but in many ways it is the lesser of the evils.


I agree 100 percent , my story to a tee
 

Micawber

Review Contributor
Messages: 173
Reviews: 18
Joined
#12
I appreciate all your well thought out responses. That's why, despite how people may look down on what we do, you're all good people.

In my particular case, it's not lack of sex at home. That's readily available. But I've always just had this urge for excitement at the parlor. I've never fallen in love or had feelings for a provider. Those are for my wife. The relationship between me and a provider is purely physical with zero depth (though that doesn't mean I don't respect these ladies).

I'm having a hard time verbalizing what I'm trying to say. Sometimes I feel I'm selfish for doing this, but it's like something grips hold of me and I have to have this experience.

I dunno. But thank you all for your thoughts!
 

Koujiao

Review Contributor
Messages: 970
Reviews: 14
Joined
#13
For some of us, our wives have stopped wanting to have sex. In my case, after menopause, my wife decided she was done with it. Other than that, she is a great partner. I have no desire to kick-her-to-the-curb for a younger (wildcard) woman. That would break her heart, alienate our kids make me feel like shit and (as an added bonus) cost me a fortune. But the problem is that we are still men. Some of us thought we were taking a vow of matrimony, not a vow of celibacy. Mongering is not perfect, but in many ways it is the lesser of the evils.
Makes sense.
 

RickeyRomance

Too blessed to be stressed
Messages: 875
Reviews: 22
Joined
#14
We men are biologically configured towards the desire of spreading our seed with as many females as possible. It's our nature. It's the nature of the male of just about every species of mammal on the planet. But, being civilized humans in the Space Age, we tamp down those instincts in furtherance of social acceptance and family bonds. It's not wrong or unnatural to feel guilt because we are all conditioned to find a nice girl, spend thousands of dollars on a hard gemstone and never touch another woman again.

That's where this hobby comes in. I can't speak for any other married monger but having traveled to Europe for years now, it's not that big of a deal. The same way that the wife will pay a woman to buff her nails and pay a woman to massage her feet and pay a woman to style her hair, we pay a woman to get a quick nut on our way home from work. No emotion. No attachment. Just physical release.

Trust me...many of the world's problems would be solved if more men got sexual relief on a regular basis. A LOT less anger and bitterness and angst. Folks always ask me why I'm always in such a good mood and it's because I love my home life, I love my job and I cum twice a day.
 

chronus

Registered Member
Messages: 61
Reviews: 4
Joined
#15
After a lifetime of almost always succeeding to do the right things and avoid darkness of spirit, a low sex marriage left me with frustration, anger and at times contemplations of suicide.

At first I thought I was unhappy with life or dissatisfied with my best friend and partner. But once I started down this path of ours I found it was not that I was heart sick but that I just had some inexplicable drive to frankly cum more often. Beating off another hundred times wasn’t enough.

This hobby is a survival mechanism and is doubtless a black spot in my soul, but it is not about love. To me an affair of the heart would be much more of a betrayal.

Love and sex can be separate. When I’m getting a massage it is a sensual experience, it is a service for hire. Both parties know it’s not love; one is having fun and the other is getting money. Providers have a difficult job and I try to always be respectful and pleasant. They respond by asking me to visit them again not because they love me but because I am less crappy than most of the others they see. it’s not because they love me or my dick and and I’m not coming back with flowers or dreams of some meaningful relationship; it’s a transactional relationship.

For me this hobby is about mechanics of sex and experiencing other women after decades of happy, dutiful monogamy that late on started to spin towards needless disaster and misery.

I realize that my wife would feel terribly betrayed and that it would wound her heart to know my deeds. But this is an imperfect and temporary world and one can only hope that precautions will hold until the curtain closes. Every action or inaction is a choice with consequences. I’ve struggled to stop seeing the ladies and excoriated myself for my weaknesses. But this desire, this “it” is very deep in some hot, animal center of my brain and if this fundamental drive is not met a poisonous net begins to ensnares my outlook on life. I wish it weren’t so, but a little body touching, some sensual sliding and blowing a load into a bag puts me back on track.

Should I talk to a shrink to attempt to neuter my drives through right thinking? When that fails, should I take pills to stave off depression and risk metal and physical side effects? Should I come clean and destroy relationships just to live truth? Should I end it and leave a smoking ruin of mystery behind? Or should I occasionally pay a professional to make me cum?

Beyond my self centered wallowing; am I causing greater harm to others with my actions?

The women I’ve seen have a difficult job. These middle aged ladies have made hard choices to make hard money at a rate not possible in their counties of origin without extensive specialized education. They can get ensnared in debt and face severe challenges, but in my experience at mps, they are not enslaved. Bust after bust that starts with suspicions of trafficking and then turns up nothing but middle aged ladies working for a living.

There are problems in this demimonde and certainly any violent coercive explotation, especially involving young women, should be pursued and prosecuted.

We all sell our bodies for work to some degree; some may get calluses, some carpal tunnel, some risk disease at laboratories, all trade our limited time for currency as our bodies incrementally decline.

There are many shitty jobs in the world and maybe amp girl is down near the bottom.

These ladies perform a job that is fulfilling a role that left unfilled would likely find expression in even more negative ways.

The world is a somewhat better for their tender mercies and in the best of worlds they are able to provide opportunities to advance their circumstances and support families off shore.

Overall American society still has a underlying sex is bad moralism. Sex is potent, but the societal implications always kant towards evil; if the girls aren’t sluts, then the men must be enslaving pigs. The world is not so black and white.

If guys could simply get their rocks off without the zealous guilt and with minimum collateral damages, it would be a better, saner world.

Did I answer the question ? Haha
 

DrHappy88

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
Messages: 984
Reviews: 25
Joined
#20
Trust me...many of the world's problems would be solved if more men got sexual relief on a regular basis. A LOT less anger and bitterness and angst.
Truer words were never written. A fun session with an attentive provider does more for my mental health than ten shrinks could do in a month, and for a lot less money. Illegal? Honestly, for some of us, this hobby should be mandatory.
 
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