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how to control myself.

wolfofwallstreet

Registered Member
Messages: 19
Reviews: 2
Joined
#1
I'm broke, in credit card debt because I gave my money to women, and aunties in this hobby.

By no means I'm homeless or that sort, but I am genuinely broke, and in debt $40,000 because of this hobby.

I really need to control myself. Please fellow monger, how do you control yourself, and strictly follow your budget?
 

RaphCarden

Registered Member
Messages: 120
Reviews: 9
Joined
#3
I'm broke, in credit card debt because I gave my money to women, and aunties in this hobby.

By no means I'm homeless or that sort, but I am genuinely broke, and in debt $40,000 because of this hobby.

I really need to control myself. Please fellow monger, how do you control yourself, and strictly follow your budget?
Sounds like you need some sort of therapy or addiction help, my friend.

I personally set aside a budget and if I start getting close to the limit I set for the month, I cool it down and whip out ol' reliable righty. Spacing out your visits also helps so you're not blowing it all on the first week of the month. But sounds like you have an actual problem so consider getting professional help which is nothing to be ashamed of.
 

AutomaticSlim

Shush...
Messages: 6,910
Reviews: 133
Joined
#7
thank you. I'm just afraid the therapist or psychologist might report me to police or whatever.
That would never happen.
I've discussed what I do with two therapists over the years (but for other issues, not for financial problems).
Just be sure to get the right one.
The first guy I had was almost 20 years ago and he was very good. Gave me some usable life advice.
The second was 5 years ago, and he was a quack. He was fascinated about my "hooker stories" and that's really all we talked about.
I stopped going after 4 visits. $1040 I'll never get back.

To answer your original question, even though I have seen a ton of girls, I have never really had to "control myself" as the amount I have given them did not impact my finances. I do curtail my living expenses outside of mongering, though. Small apartment, plain clothes, no fancy vacations, my last two cars were both bought new, but I had the first for 10 years and the second for 16 years (only 64K on that one -- still have it and it's going good). And I am still perfectly fine for retirement when the time comes.

Like @RaphCarden said, decide upon a monthly budget commensurate with your income and stick to it, whatever that is. And if you go over, cut down accordingly on the next month. Obviously we would all have different monthly mongering thresholds, but the important thing is to stay within them.

But right now, at 40K in the hole, you should focus on digging out and getting comfortable before even thinking about seeing another girl.
Good luck.
 

jordan77

Registered Member
Messages: 30
Reviews: 14
Joined
#10
Treat it as an entertainment budget line item or dining out budget line item. They are trained to make you feel good and yes can be a self esteem booster if you suffer from low self esteem. But make no mistake it’s a business transaction.
get yourself out of the 40k hole first. Limit to like once a month if even until you clear that debt first. Think of it as averaging down your frequency.
I would avoid therapist and just accept reality that you have a problem of either sex addition or self esteem issues and move on to controlling /counting everything. While doubtful they would rat you out, it can be perceived as an imminent threat if you were having unprotected sex. So I would say stay away from therapist personally.
 

RonBlanco

Review Contributor
Messages: 167
Reviews: 25
Joined
#14
I'm broke, in credit card debt because I gave my money to women, and aunties in this hobby.

By no means I'm homeless or that sort, but I am genuinely broke, and in debt $40,000 because of this hobby.

I really need to control myself. Please fellow monger, how do you control yourself, and strictly follow your budget?
Totally feel you. I'm nearly in the same boat debt wise. Just started working FT again since the start of the pandemic and I've gone to 3 providers within a week. I consider myself a sex addict, but I've been able to curtail my urges mostly. My unwritten rule is that I do not ever put my household in financial jeopardy. If it's paying the rent or a bill or putting food on the table vs seeing a provider, the former always comes first. Also don't have large amounts of money in your pocket at any given time. Payday is probably when I have the strongest urges, and just recently, the large amount of money I was about to spend on a provider, I quickly opened up a credit card app and made a payment toward it instead. That way, I physically do not have the money in my bank account to withdraw, and I'm too cheap to want to have an upcharge from a provider toward a credit card fee. Know yourself, know your triggers, stay busy, and take it one day at a time.
 

wolfofwallstreet

Registered Member
Messages: 19
Reviews: 2
Joined
#15
Totally feel you. I'm nearly in the same boat debt wise. Just started working FT again since the start of the pandemic and I've gone to 3 providers within a week. I consider myself a sex addict, but I've been able to curtail my urges mostly. My unwritten rule is that I do not ever put my household in financial jeopardy. If it's paying the rent or a bill or putting food on the table vs seeing a provider, the former always comes first. Also don't have large amounts of money in your pocket at any given time. Payday is probably when I have the strongest urges, and just recently, the large amount of money I was about to spend on a provider, I quickly opened up a credit card app and made a payment toward it instead. That way, I physically do not have the money in my bank account to withdraw, and I'm too cheap to want to have an upcharge from a provider toward a credit card fee. Know yourself, know your triggers, stay busy, and take it one day at a time.
Thank you so much. This advice really helps. I guess I need to make myself not easily get cash from the ATM.
 

wolfofwallstreet

Registered Member
Messages: 19
Reviews: 2
Joined
#16
That would never happen.
I've discussed what I do with two therapists over the years (but for other issues, not for financial problems).
Just be sure to get the right one.
The first guy I had was almost 20 years ago and he was very good. Gave me some usable life advice.
The second was 5 years ago, and he was a quack. He was fascinated about my "hooker stories" and that's really all we talked about.
I stopped going after 4 visits. $1040 I'll never get back.

To answer your original question, even though I have seen a ton of girls, I have never really had to "control myself" as the amount I have given them did not impact my finances. I do curtail my living expenses outside of mongering, though. Small apartment, plain clothes, no fancy vacations, my last two cars were both bought new, but I had the first for 10 years and the second for 16 years (only 64K on that one -- still have it and it's going good). And I am still perfectly fine for retirement when the time comes.

Like @RaphCarden said, decide upon a monthly budget commensurate with your income and stick to it, whatever that is. And if you go over, cut down accordingly on the next month. Obviously we would all have different monthly mongering thresholds, but the important thing is to stay within them.

But right now, at 40K in the hole, you should focus on digging out and getting comfortable before even thinking about seeing another girl.
Good luck.
Thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful advice.
 

vp813

Review Contributor
Messages: 477
Reviews: 22
Joined
#20
set aside your monthly budget for mongering. I try to do it twice a month so I don't go over. my budget per month is $450. In Nassau county it only used to let me have one experience a month ($250 each each) in queens its 2-3 depending where I go. Once I blow it for the month ill wait out till the 1st of the next month. I don't give-in, I don't wanna get in a situation where I can't pay rent, car lease, or credit card bill lol.

During Covid-19 I took a salary cut and I took a cut on mongering too. 10% salary cut, 10% mongering cut lol

This hobby can get expensive quick, when I first started I would leave places and check my wallet when I got back to my car and would feel guilty about throwing $200 or $250 away in 30 minutes and that's when I was like I need to create a budget

Btw I do this for my other interests too- going to met games, Knick games, clothes/fashion. Only thing I don't do this for is food, I wanna eat whatever I want lol
 
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