Seeing providers long term

[Lu Xun]

Have you been going to the same provider for many many years? What is your relationship with her like after so long? How do these relationships evolve and change over time? Do they deepen?

I know for sure there will always be the transactional aspect $. I would like to think that they turn into friendships for many of you.

I’m relatively new to mongering and have found a provider I like (just happy endings). I’m married with a family and would not want to blow that up. Just trying to imagine where this goes over time.

(Perhaps best is to go nowhere: pay for it, revel in the illusion while you’re in her arms, enjoy the time together, don’t fall in love, and go home.)

 

[Bricktop]

The longer you see them, the better, the service

 

[Lu Xun]

The longer you see them, the better, the service

I’ve heard the counter argument that the provider can start to take you for granted and get lazy.

In which case the solution is simply to stop seeing her.

 

[bluebells]

I’ve heard the counter argument that the provider can start to take you for granted and get lazy.

That's happened a couple of times for me. I think largely to do with if the provider is in high demand and constantly busy. They saw me as a time to relax and be casual. One started picking at a pimple while servicing me, that's how I know they got too comfortable.

 

[Bricktop]

I’ve heard the counter argument that the provider can start to take you for granted and get lazy.

In which case the solution is simply to stop seeing her.

Maybe in an amp setting, but in UTR that’s usually not the case

 

[hhnyc77]

Have you been going to the same provider for many many years? What is your relationship with her like after so long? How do these relationships evolve and change over time? Do they deepen?

I know for sure there will always be the transactional aspect $. I would like to think that they turn into friendships for many of you.

I’m relatively new to mongering and have found a provider I like (just happy endings). I’m married with a family and would not want to blow that up. Just trying to imagine where this goes over time.

(Perhaps best is to go nowhere: pay for it, revel in the illusion while you’re in her arms, enjoy the time together, don’t fall in love, and go home.)

I might be in the minority but this hobby is strictly transactional for me...to me, they are a service provider, similar to going to a professional to get a hair cut or oil change or an accountant or whatever else, and is strictly that. That way, it's so much cleaner, easier, no drama, no issues. Any potential headaches or aggravation or attachment or other emotional issues are completely avoided. I don't want to be their friend or lover or boyfriend or sugar daddy...all I want to be, is to be their customer. Period.

Another reason for me personally, is that I mainly do this for the variety...and while I do do repeats, I'm always looking for new faces and selections, and maintaining one or more very long term ones just isn't in the cards for me. That's just me, though...there are others who get very involved and sometimes TOO involved...but that's their choice...it's just not for me personally.

 

[Handsome Matt]

That's happened a couple of times for me. I think largely to do with if the provider is in high demand and constantly busy. They saw me as a time to relax and be casual. One started picking at a pimple while servicing me, that's how I know they got too comfortable.

I hope she didn't pop it on you LOL Need extra hot towels for that

 

[DrHappy88]

Have you been going to the same provider for many many years? What is your relationship with her like after so long? How do these relationships evolve and change over time? Do they deepen?

I've been doing this long enough to have this situation go in many directions. I have seen the sessions get better as time goes on because each learns what the other likes and a level of trust is built up. The interaction goes from being tentative or exploratory to almost natural. It still never goes beyond client/provider, but a connection is made, the script is thrown out, each visit is different and they get better. These ladies are like any other service provider. They have their favorites, just like we have ours. For me, these relationships tended to end because she got out of the business or moved away.

I have had providers give me the exact same experience each and every time I saw them. I kept going because I was having fun or the lady had a particular physical characteristic that interested me, but no session ever deviated from the script.

I have had long-term providers begin to take me for granted. They would start to mail it in, things would get stale and I would wonder why I kept going back to a provider like that. I guess it was to try to recapture the initial spark. After two or three "meh" sessions, it would be over. I would move on and she couldn't care less that I did.

Finally, I had one provider go a little psycho. She was an indy, not an AMP lady. She began to think I was some sort of boyfriend and really took me for granted - screwing around with appointments, asking me to pick up stuff on the way, asking for rides to get her stuff, etc. For some reason, she thought I became her BFF. I'm ankle deep in mud at a job site and I would get a drunken crying phone call because she had a fight with her mother or her cat was sick or some other stupid thing. The only reason I tolerated things up to that point was because the sex was so damn good, but even that won't make up for when the crazy gets too bad. When they get clingy, it's time to go.

If you do this shit long enough, you will see everything.

 

[Justinbro2002]

I have an atf I have seen exclusively for many months now and it has only gotten better. It's of course a pay for play arrangement but I think it has evolved into more of a friendship. She's an independent who uses a PO but she gave me her private number and I just text her. I don't abuse the fact that I can't text her I only text to set up appointments and to say thank you after appointments. She texts me to say hi or tell me about her week and I will text back and forth then but also keep it reasonable. A lot of guys will become to clingy and turn the girls off. I don't ask her out or anything because that is a good way to ruin a good thing if you misread signals and neither one of us wants a relationship but I am pretty sure we could probably go out as friends to a movie or something if I asked and I'm pretty sure she has made some subtle hints. But a lot of these girls are just looking for a guy to take them out and buy them stuff. I don't get that vibe at all from my aft. If you are seeing Asians there is sometimes a big language barrier that keeps things very business like.

 

[bluebells]

I hope she didn't pop it on you LOL Need extra hot towels for that

She was picking at a pimple on my waist while bobbing for, well you know. It was weird. I had a Captain Phillips moment. Stop seeing her for a while and she got weirder on me.

 

[Lu Xun]

Thanks, fellas, really interesting and helpful to hear your various approaches to this hobby.

Reflecting on all this, it makes me realize I’m committing a rookie mistake of becoming too attached to a provider. Infatuated is probably the right word. But my fever is breaking, and I’m gonna step back.

I like @hhnyc77’s detached, purely transactional approach, although I’m quite far from that right now.

I also realize I should try to put some of this energy back toward my beautiful wife, who unfortunately has a medical condition that has prevented us from having intercourse for several years now. Our sex life has completely dried up. But mongering is surprisingly rekindling my interest in her—she once had the slimmest, most incredible spinner body with the tiniest waist, and although multiple childbirths and aging have blown that up, she’s still pretty gorgeous. (Sorry for bragging!)

Cheers, and thanks for sharing your stories.

 

[BonerMaloney]

I hope she didn't pop it on you

will no one make the obvious pops per session joke??

 

[VJLUTZ]

I’ve heard the counter argument that the provider can start to take you for granted and get lazy.

If you are seeing a provider for over 2 years, you have almost certainly developed an emotional connection with her. You probably consider her a close friend and vise versa. So, lots of pillow talk, which may become nearly as important as the sex. I am in this situation with a SB who I see 2-3X a month

So, will she take advantage of that on occasion? Yes. Every now and then she shorts me or cancels at the last minute. Or just talks a lot about her problems, to the point where I feel like her shrink. This may seem like a bad thing, but it does deepen our bond.
Will the peak intimacy be better than a hot new girl? Yes.
Will the sex be better than a hot new girl who is horny? Generally no, but sometimes it is amazing. Those are the times when she needs your dick and it shows.
Do you even start treating her as a 2nd wife? Possibly.

My SB has also had actual BFs during our years together. Even so, she still makes time to see me on the sly. Thus, her BFs know nothing about me. I try to put on an act that I don't really care. And I really have no right to as we are PPM and I don't give her enough to be exclusive. Though I do wangle enough facts out of her to make sure they are not scumbags.

 

[VJLUTZ]

Finally, I had one provider go a little psycho. She was an indy, not an AMP lady. She began to think I was some sort of boyfriend and really took me for granted - screwing around with appointments, asking me to pick up stuff on the way, asking for rides to get her stuff, etc. For some reason, she thought I became her BFF. I'm ankle deep in mud at a job site and I would get a drunken crying phone call because she had a fight with her mother or her cat was sick or some other stupid thing. The only reason I tolerated things up to that point was because the sex was so damn good, but even that won't make up for when the crazy gets too bad. When they get clingy, it's time to go.

Yeah, that is bad. I will say that one of the keys to keeping a LTR going is not to be clingy between sessions (for either party). My SB and I do text, but not heavily and phone calls are very rare.