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What is your ultimate goal?

Srhsrh

Registered Member
Messages: 1,200
Reviews: 3
Joined
#4
I’ve looked for and found love in the past at spas. Right now I’m just more focused on having a completely honest relationship/visit. I’m tired of the games. I don’t need the illusion that we are lovers, to have a good time with a visit. For now I just want to know the truth and focus on having a good time.

It’s a real problem for me right now when I find they lied about age, marital status, how long they’ve done spa work, etc. I don’t care what the answer is, I just want it to be truth.

For instance there’s a girl I was visiting, who told me she lived in NJ in a house she bought with her sister. So I’m talking to her two months later, and she tells me she’s in flushing, in one of those crash houses, with 20 other girls. She’s trying to get me to visit during her time there and put her in a hotel. I’d do it, except she lied before.
 

Chiparlor

Has Decided to Walk on Earth.
Messages: 2,604
Reviews: 38
Joined
#5
@Srhsrh Was there several times. Learned not to trust them and just play the games for the services. Lower your expectations and be prepared for their hidden truths. That is the way this game is.
 

TGBeldin

Registered Member
Messages: 1,109
Reviews: 4
Joined
#6
I have always gone in looking only for good service. Never looked for more, but on occasion it has developed into friendship.
 

DannyG

Registered Member
Messages: 103
Joined
#7
It's a helluva thing to become emotionally attached to a provider, she gives sex for pay, which is her job, she's friendly, likeable, once again part of her job. We take it to heart, I'm sure as soon as I/you leave, in the clouds due to the great session, she gives her next customer the same treatment. As long as she remains in this industry expect her to do what is necessary to maintain her client base, popularity and appeal. They will tell you 10 truths, yet one lie, one big lie will ruin your perception of her, you think if she is capable of lying about such a thing, what else is she lying to me about, she may find it necessary to do so for her own sanity and pocket book, how many other guys feel the same way about her? Everybody wants to be her boyfriend, she is faced with living up to their fantasy all the while juggling different personalities and fulfilling multiple fantasies. Ask me how I know. It must be tough for her to play along, pretending to feel about her love struck customers as they do about her. Sometimes a move without notification to another shop or city is due to customers becoming too emotionally attached/dependant with her, include the fact that she has a real life BF/husband to care for and dependant on her.
 

East Lake II

Review Contributor
Messages: 2,955
Reviews: 90
Joined
#8
I’ve looked for and found love in the past at spas. Right now I’m just more focused on having a completely honest relationship/visit. I’m tired of the games. I don’t need the illusion that we are lovers, to have a good time with a visit. For now I just want to know the truth and focus on having a good time.

It’s a real problem for me right now when I find they lied about age, marital status, how long they’ve done spa work, etc. I don’t care what the answer is, I just want it to be truth.

For instance there’s a girl I was visiting, who told me she lived in NJ in a house she bought with her sister. So I’m talking to her two months later, and she tells me she’s in flushing, in one of those crash houses, with 20 other girls. She’s trying to get me to visit during her time there and put her in a hotel. I’d do it, except she lied before.
They don’t look at is as a lie. Their lives are layered and complex. For most of them, especially those that have been in the business for a while, they can’t tell the truth, at least not right away. There is no upside in telling the truth. You can always tell when one just arrived as she will tell you more that she really should. I was talking to one about the lies, the seemingly endless lies and she innocently and directly said, “Why should they tell you truth? You aren’t going to marry them, you aren’t their husband.” As if that statement didn’t catch me off guard, we were talking a little while later and I told her about a lie that really bothered me and her response was equally startling.

A favorite started working at another spa, she started splitting her time at the spa I was seeing her and another newly opened spa. She didn’t tell me where the new spa was till after she left the spa where I was seeing her. She gave enough hints and clues and talked around it, to where I knew where the new spa was and figured out which one it was. I told a friend about this episode and she said, what’s the big deal, you always knew where she was, she always told you how to see her and you were seeing her on her days off, you talked and texted often, this is not a big deal. The one I was talking to considered this behavior perfectly normal. I thought it was rather upsetting.

We process and deal with things in a much different way than they do. Are they lying to us? I don’t know anymore. I’ve also found out that the truth is there, it’s staring us in the face, we just don’t want to accept it, so we get upset with them and think they are lying to us. Sure, their words were not truthful, but they told us with actions what the real story was.

Some take a while to warm up. Think about their world, who can they trust? Considering the world they left where lies are the norm, coming to America and being involved in the massage business, which is all lies, lies from their co-workers, lies from the bosses, owners and managers, and yes, lies from us their source of revenue. No wonder they are loathe to tell the truth. It takes time to build trust. I agree with you, I don’t like being lied to either, but now I have decided I want to know as little as possible about them. I like them, I like being with them and I’m glad they are here, but I’ll let them reveal to me what they want on their terms.

The part I struggle with is, they are not who they seem to be. It’s not the words and stories they tell, its what they don’t tell. If you really want to know about them, all the gory details, see someone that they have worked with or someone they know. Their former colleague will tell you far more than you want to know and you will hear a side of them you wish you didn’t know. Granted, they might be embellishing, but often there is enough there to put a few more pieces to the puzzle on the table.
 

East Lake II

Review Contributor
Messages: 2,955
Reviews: 90
Joined
#9
It's a helluva thing to become emotionally attached to a provider, she gives sex for pay, which is her job, she's friendly, likeable, once again part of her job. We take it to heart, I'm sure as soon as I/you leave, in the clouds due to the great session, she gives her next customer the same treatment. As long as she remains in this industry expect her to do what is necessary to maintain her client base, popularity and appeal. They will tell you 10 truths, yet one lie, one big lie will ruin your perception of her, you think if she is capable of lying about such a thing, what else is she lying to me about, she may find it necessary to do so for her own sanity and pocket book, how many other guys feel the same way about her? Everybody wants to be her boyfriend, she is faced with living up to their fantasy all the while juggling different personalities and fulfilling multiple fantasies. Ask me how I know. It must be tough for her to play along, pretending to feel about her love struck customers as they do about her. Sometimes a move without notification to another shop or city is due to customers becoming too emotionally attached/dependant with her, include the fact that she has a real life BF/husband to care for and dependant on her.
All true!
 

KiteEnvy

Registered Member
Messages: 21
Reviews: 3
Joined
#10
Not too long ago I let myself get emotionally involved-falling head over heals like a love sick teenage puppy-for a provider. Fortunately I never really shared my true feelings for her, just maintained our friends-with benefits-relationship in/outside the spa. I soon realized what an emotional train wreck this was becoming for me and had to distance myself from her to get my normal life back again. Wow that was hard.

This was a big mistake and I really should have never let myself get this way. I’m 50 for Christ’s sake-old and wise! And I’ve been doing this hobby for many years and smartly never slipped down that rabbit hole before.

My advice is keep it professional, maybe some type of friendship, but don’t get swept off your feet.
 

superman06

Registered Member
Messages: 578
Reviews: 3
Joined
#13
I’ve looked for and found love in the past at spas. Right now I’m just more focused on having a completely honest relationship/visit. I’m tired of the games. I don’t need the illusion that we are lovers, to have a good time with a visit. For now I just want to know the truth and focus on having a good time.

It’s a real problem for me right now when I find they lied about age, marital status, how long they’ve done spa work, etc. I don’t care what the answer is, I just want it to be truth.

For instance there’s a girl I was visiting, who told me she lived in NJ in a house she bought with her sister. So I’m talking to her two months later, and she tells me she’s in flushing, in one of those crash houses, with 20 other girls. She’s trying to get me to visit during her time there and put her in a hotel. I’d do it, except she lied before.
they all lie and live in flushing!! nuff said!!
 

Srhsrh

Registered Member
Messages: 1,200
Reviews: 3
Joined
#16
I’m not afraid to get involved with one outside the shop, and honestly would marry one if I found the right girl. Saying that they all do anything or live anywhere, or all are married is inherently not true. There’s many I know who don’t live in flushing and aren’t married.

I’ve seen this happen both ways. A girl who seems interested in dating, but really is faking it, AND a girl who really wants to date and marry me, when I’m not interested.

I’m more interested right now in keeping this a business transaction, and hoping the girl will just be honest.
 

Mara_massage

Registered Member
Messages: 404
Reviews: 2
Joined
#17
They don’t look at is as a lie. Their lives are layered and complex. For most of them, especially those that have been in the business for a while, they can’t tell the truth, at least not right away. There is no upside in telling the truth. You can always tell when one just arrived as she will tell you more that she really should. I was talking to one about the lies, the seemingly endless lies and she innocently and directly said, “Why should they tell you truth? You aren’t going to marry them, you aren’t their husband.” As if that statement didn’t catch me off guard, we were talking a little while later and I told her about a lie that really bothered me and her response was equally startling.

A favorite started working at another spa, she started splitting her time at the spa I was seeing her and another newly opened spa. She didn’t tell me where the new spa was till after she left the spa where I was seeing her. She gave enough hints and clues and talked around it, to where I knew where the new spa was and figured out which one it was. I told a friend about this episode and she said, what’s the big deal, you always knew where she was, she always told you how to see her and you were seeing her on her days off, you talked and texted often, this is not a big deal. The one I was talking to considered this behavior perfectly normal. I thought it was rather upsetting.

We process and deal with things in a much different way than they do. Are they lying to us? I don’t know anymore. I’ve also found out that the truth is there, it’s staring us in the face, we just don’t want to accept it, so we get upset with them and think they are lying to us. Sure, their words were not truthful, but they told us with actions what the real story was.

Some take a while to warm up. Think about their world, who can they trust? Considering the world they left where lies are the norm, coming to America and being involved in the massage business, which is all lies, lies from their co-workers, lies from the bosses, owners and managers, and yes, lies from us their source of revenue. No wonder they are loathe to tell the truth. It takes time to build trust. I agree with you, I don’t like being lied to either, but now I have decided I want to know as little as possible about them. I like them, I like being with them and I’m glad they are here, but I’ll let them reveal to me what they want on their terms.

The part I struggle with is, they are not who they seem to be. It’s not the words and stories they tell, its what they don’t tell. If you really want to know about them, all the gory details, see someone that they have worked with or someone they know. Their former colleague will tell you far more than you want to know and you will hear a side of them you wish you didn’t know. Granted, they might be embellishing, but often there is enough there to put a few more pieces to the puzzle on the table.
Articulately stated !
 

Mara_massage

Registered Member
Messages: 404
Reviews: 2
Joined
#18
I’m not afraid to get involved with one outside the shop, and honestly would marry one if I found the right girl. Saying that they all do anything or live anywhere, or all are married is inherently not true. There’s many I know who don’t live in flushing and aren’t married.

I’ve seen this happen both ways. A girl who seems interested in dating, but really is faking it, AND a girl who really wants to date and marry me, when I’m not interested.

I’m more interested right now in keeping this a business transaction, and hoping the girl will just be honest.
Articulately stated !
 
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