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What you do when you fall in love with massage girl
- Thread starter kgmspa
- Start date
I agree. This thread for me has been quite therapeutic. Helped on how to keep my mind in the right frame. It is reassuring to read that any one of us has not been the 'only one' who has gone through this roller coaster of emotions. I guess the moral of the story could be, ( if the chemistry is at least part of the way there) is to have fun...be kind, and keep them at arms length. However, the more two humans interact with each other, the inevitable may very well sneak up on either one...OR... both. We all contain hormones, neurotransmitters and can create endorphins.
Why do some guys keep believing that human emotions are any different with clients and providers? They aren't. Sometimes there are emotions that turn into relationships that work out. Sometimes there are emotions that turn into relationships that become disasters. Sometimes feelings are reciprocated, sometimes they are not.
It is life, with all its complexities and variations.
I think we tend to think the results are very one sided because from what I have seem in person, the relationships that turn out well and last are not publicized on sites like this. Those people just drift off quietly.
I was at a wedding about 8 years ago for a woman and her former client/now husband. They are still together, 2 kids later, and doing quite well. But the web site they were on before they got serious is convinced (1) he died several years ago, and (2) she has been in prison for several years on drug charges. I laugh and shake my head at those clueless comments, but there are guys on that site who are convinced their pipe dreams are reality.
It is life, with all its complexities and variations.
I think we tend to think the results are very one sided because from what I have seem in person, the relationships that turn out well and last are not publicized on sites like this. Those people just drift off quietly.
I was at a wedding about 8 years ago for a woman and her former client/now husband. They are still together, 2 kids later, and doing quite well. But the web site they were on before they got serious is convinced (1) he died several years ago, and (2) she has been in prison for several years on drug charges. I laugh and shake my head at those clueless comments, but there are guys on that site who are convinced their pipe dreams are reality.
Well...
Because what you have there is a situation where the girl (usually young and attractive) is being paid to provide a service to a guy (most likely not that attractive).
Here's the thing. Many girls will want a client to repeat / become a regular if he is kind and polite. This does not mean she is attracted to him. She may even have a good time with him while in the session -- and genuinely appreciate it when he leaves a nice tip. But...attractive females, even providers, have many other options. I realize a lot of you guys see the older ones, over 35 and such, so maybe there is a difference with them. I would not know. I can tell you that the younger ones that come in for NYC tours have no interest whatsoever in a "relationship" with clients. In fact, these girls will go out after hours and pick up guys (usually "bad boy" types) in bars and clubs. I know for a fact of one agency that helps pay the hotel fee and specifically forbids girls from bringing non-client guys back to their room.
Not saying it can't happen. ANYTHING can happen. Just saying I think is quite rare. And much more often than not, if a provider shows interest, she is scheming...
Because what you have there is a situation where the girl (usually young and attractive) is being paid to provide a service to a guy (most likely not that attractive).
Here's the thing. Many girls will want a client to repeat / become a regular if he is kind and polite. This does not mean she is attracted to him. She may even have a good time with him while in the session -- and genuinely appreciate it when he leaves a nice tip. But...attractive females, even providers, have many other options. I realize a lot of you guys see the older ones, over 35 and such, so maybe there is a difference with them. I would not know. I can tell you that the younger ones that come in for NYC tours have no interest whatsoever in a "relationship" with clients. In fact, these girls will go out after hours and pick up guys (usually "bad boy" types) in bars and clubs. I know for a fact of one agency that helps pay the hotel fee and specifically forbids girls from bringing non-client guys back to their room.
Not saying it can't happen. ANYTHING can happen. Just saying I think is quite rare. And much more often than not, if a provider shows interest, she is scheming...
Provider/Ex-Pat marriages happens all the time in SE Asia. Not all wind up as happy marriages, but they commit enough to each other to go through the legal hassle of a marriage license. Trend is slowing down now, mostly because several of the Asian countries are no longer economically feasible for monger retirement.
I do know of someone who did that.
He went in with very realistic expectations. He stated that he has never been faithful to his wife, nor her to him.
On another note, I am interested in the section of your comment I highlighted in bold.
So these countries are getting more expensive, I take it? Or are there tax considerations?
I have this "pipe dream" about taking my "FU fund" to the Philippines one day. Whether I actually do it or not is another story.
But are you saying it is not so good of a deal financially anymore?
He went in with very realistic expectations. He stated that he has never been faithful to his wife, nor her to him.
On another note, I am interested in the section of your comment I highlighted in bold.
So these countries are getting more expensive, I take it? Or are there tax considerations?
I have this "pipe dream" about taking my "FU fund" to the Philippines one day. Whether I actually do it or not is another story.
But are you saying it is not so good of a deal financially anymore?
"getting into a relationship with one will ruin the fun, now your stuck with a girl that won’t give you sex as before, what happens at the amp doesn’t translate well into your relationship, "
Boy, is that true. Was in a relationship with a FS provider for well over 3 years and was refused anal all that time. Only to find out backchannel one of her customers got anal from her like a dozen times. I told her early on---if I ever find out you now or in the past have treated customers better than me I will end it IMMEDIATELY.
So I did.
Boy, is that true. Was in a relationship with a FS provider for well over 3 years and was refused anal all that time. Only to find out backchannel one of her customers got anal from her like a dozen times. I told her early on---if I ever find out you now or in the past have treated customers better than me I will end it IMMEDIATELY.
So I did.
The best thing about her is that she never asked for a penny or gifts from me in all those years, a total rarity for a FS Chinese amp girl. She probably figured 'to get the guy to marry me it's best not to act like a greedy whore like all my peers, I'll try a different approach---play the long game and see what happens.'
MM is right, there's no future in these relationships, the deception, deviousness, lack of trust are just too great to overcome.
MM is right, there's no future in these relationships, the deception, deviousness, lack of trust are just too great to overcome.
“getting into a relationship with one will ruin the fun” the reality is much difference than the fantasy. Some can make it work. But for most mongers who enjoy the freedom that a spa visit gives as much as the sex, being in a relationship with a provider, costs you your freedom. Just like you will likely not forget where you met her, she too will not forget where she met you.
Generalizations Gentlemen...this post is loaded with them from the beginning...and it's no one's fault...We are all trying to get a grips on our feelings for our ATFs... and tend to generalize to accommodate our individual situations.
I'm currently single and don't share the married guys problems with emotional provider relationships but I lived it and I get it...got divorced after my first trip down the Rabbit hole,, LoL..
Had a 4 year relationship with a provider that I retired and I'm currently in a 2 year relationship with a working GF...Just returned from a 30 day trip to her hometown in China which was amazing..
I spend 3-4 days a week in Flushing and a lot of time with my GF, her Roomies and Friends and I know of at least of a dozen current relationships between Caucasian guys and providers ...and each one is different...some have a chance and others are doomed ... Some are "Green Card" relationships, some potential marriage arrangements, some successful "Cinderella Marriages"... It's a crap shoot... little different from the "Civvie" odds on getting hitched...which are around 50/50 at this time...LoL..
Soooo let's not dismiss the potential for a Spa initiated relationship off the bat...it's all relative given certain conditions...Spa girls are doing sex with customers for cash, Civvies are not (at least that's what they tell us) ...Spa sex is anomyous for the most part ( you all are married and don't want more) ...Civvies have an emotional horse in the race if they are seeing someone else (cheating)... and you're being played, if they have been on dating sites when you met them... which is more fu*ked up than a lot of Spa connections..just MHO...Lol..
...My point is, that as strange as it seems, it's no more risky to hook up with a provider than it is with a Civvie and usually a lot more rewarding...as long as you know the risks involved...
In my case..I have nothing but "Blue Sky's" to report and no regrets...
Life is Good,
Enjoy!
Xooz
I'm currently single and don't share the married guys problems with emotional provider relationships but I lived it and I get it...got divorced after my first trip down the Rabbit hole,, LoL..
Had a 4 year relationship with a provider that I retired and I'm currently in a 2 year relationship with a working GF...Just returned from a 30 day trip to her hometown in China which was amazing..
I spend 3-4 days a week in Flushing and a lot of time with my GF, her Roomies and Friends and I know of at least of a dozen current relationships between Caucasian guys and providers ...and each one is different...some have a chance and others are doomed ... Some are "Green Card" relationships, some potential marriage arrangements, some successful "Cinderella Marriages"... It's a crap shoot... little different from the "Civvie" odds on getting hitched...which are around 50/50 at this time...LoL..
Soooo let's not dismiss the potential for a Spa initiated relationship off the bat...it's all relative given certain conditions...Spa girls are doing sex with customers for cash, Civvies are not (at least that's what they tell us) ...Spa sex is anomyous for the most part ( you all are married and don't want more) ...Civvies have an emotional horse in the race if they are seeing someone else (cheating)... and you're being played, if they have been on dating sites when you met them... which is more fu*ked up than a lot of Spa connections..just MHO...Lol..
...My point is, that as strange as it seems, it's no more risky to hook up with a provider than it is with a Civvie and usually a lot more rewarding...as long as you know the risks involved...
In my case..I have nothing but "Blue Sky's" to report and no regrets...
Life is Good,
Enjoy!
Xooz
You got that right. That head-over-heels feeling of love is a temporary situation. It could last years, but rarely will it persist more than 5 years. Eventually all relationships become routine and then develop warts and scars. Or, they end and you twist in the wind for a while. However, the ABILITY to fall in love is what is important. It shows that we are still human and have hope for the future.
And, yes, I was in love with an AMP girl for about 2 years. Didn't intend for it to happen, but it did. Eventually she moved away and it was over, but it took me a while to come to terms with that.
And, yes, I was in love with an AMP girl for about 2 years. Didn't intend for it to happen, but it did. Eventually she moved away and it was over, but it took me a while to come to terms with that.