I posted one of these before... after a (very) bad session in nyc (or nearby)....
I got helpful feedback.. so trying again.
ADVICE PLEASE:
I have been using an agency in Tokyo, the first girl I tried I clicked with, so I just have seen her a few times.
The other day, my airbnb situation had a 1 day missing laps, aka I didnt have a place to stay, so I thought Id go to shinjuku, chill-up in a (cheap) 24hr rest place they have available there, and maybe get a girl and stay at a love hotel for a few hours.
I spent a few hours in a sauna, then chilled at the rest area... by the time I got around to scheduled the girl, I set it up for 2am... a bit early, but not abnormal for shinjuku.
I met the girl who had a facemask on etc... and went to a nearby lovehotel.
So far everything is fine.
-----------
We get to the room, she keeps her facemask on for a bit too long.. she finally takes it off, less good looking than I hoped for but shes fine.
then... it quickly goes south. very quickly, and this is before I pay her btw.
She immidiately turns the tv on. I dont like tv noise, and her just randomly setting things up like this is a bit jarring.
then shes asking if we want to fill the barthtub, and various things, while mentioning I need to pay,,, I walk to the bathroom to check out the tub and she tells me to stop, and come back...
so, just get the picture... somethings going on... shes taken her mask off now, shes looking very stressed out, and doing these things all at once... telling me what to do, messing with the tv, looking VERY stressed
so I tell her to calm down. My 'plan' was... I will let her know she can relax... "because"... in my mind, I wanted to have a nice relaxing time and no reason for her to be stressed... that was in my mind.... I stupidly thought, that it will be fine.
she snaps back that I need to calm down. and after a bit I get her to turn the tv off... and she tells me my face looks angry, she also asked if I was drunk... and so I think... what do I do?
I can cancel the session... or maybe if I pay, she will calm down... and I can let her tale control and just do it her way... so thats what I gamble on.... after all her pushy accusations I feel Im on the defense.
I text the agency and say things are a bit weird and they say 'tell us how it goes'
I pay. (about $400)...
she says she will prepare the tub. and walks into the bath area.
I lay on tbe bed... just hoping this will end up ok.
We shower together, no touching.
we get in the tub, no romance, no touching. any attempt at touching she looks very stressed out.
we get out and go into the bedroom... I forget exactly what happens but no touching.
finally she sits up and says, condom blow job something something, or uncovered something something extra.
Due to this not being remotely sensual or sexual I say no blowjob. Please relax... and I think I say... I can give you a massage.
Again, Im thinking I can get her to see, I want a mutually relaxing time.
I give her a massage, she does relax, and for a brief moment, as Im giving her a massage I can sense shes not in panic mode.
I try to kiss her ass... her hands flick me away.
I turn her over and try to move down to lick her pussy.
she wont open her legs, so I can lick just the top edge... for like 5 min or less...
then I try to lick her breasts, shes saying ok thats fine but gently.
So agian, I can see from my breast sucking, she relaxes and breathes deeply, but multiple times she pushes me away saying its too hard (I am not debating her opinion for how she feels but just noting, I know how to properly suck on a womans breasts)
see where this is going?
So Im still trying... she says, you're working too hard, lay down.
So I realize Im not getting anywhere.. so I lay down. She asks what I want. I am still trying to get her to relax, so I say, if we can lay down next to each other, kiss, hug, etc.
She says ok, honestly she looks a bit relieved, but we dont do anything regardless. ...
this apparently is close to 90min (my order amount of time.) her alarm goes off and she says 15min left "we have to hurry up" (hurry up for what?)
I honeslty hate when women tell me to hurry up so I get up and get dressed... she see me doing this and says, she wants to stay in the room and brush her teeth, maybe I can leave now and she will leave later... basically she told me to leave. So I leave.
I text the agency and say I dont want to get the girl in trouble but it was a bad sessions.
-----------
the next day I wake up and I realize I was totally fucked in that session and Im a fucking idiot.... I hate myself and Im furious at the woman (20 yo girl) and after texting with the agency a bit Im furious with them as well...
the next 2 days.... I am livid... I text the agency a bit... they keep it professional and only reply, very basic responses... offering a $50 discount next time.
Now I finally am relaxing enough to get out of being livid... still feeling very angry... I can finally understand this woman is probably very damaged, and I ended up dealing with her negative energy. Clearly I should have canceled the moment she told me to calm down... but hindsight is 20/20.
---------
I dont consider myself a chump but, I do veer to the side of wanting and prioritizing a optimal emotional experience. I usually have good sessions. A decent amount of times the woman see im open to a deeper experience and open themselves up to me... at least, as far as im concerned, Im getting the experience I want,... and it can turn into a longer term friendship, and again at this point in my life, I enjoy that... so that was the motivation behind... being too lacks with just canceling, I thought I could fix it. Also, Im not sure how to take control in the right way when this happens. this was my rented room, this was my space, I could have told her to leave, BEFORE i paid definitely, or ended the session anytime after, and just realized the situation and told her to leave...
----------
I am still very angry but calming down now, more than 2 days later... I need advice please... I cant have these types of things happen to me. I should be smart enough to avoid this.
She's 20 years old... a fucking idiot... and she fucked my last few days up. and totally ran a train on me that night. ultimately I understand she had a huge mental issue etc... but that is besides the point. She fucked me, and I let her... and then spent the next few days.... recovering from my anger.
I still like 50% hate myself honestly... and hate everyone ... its so immature... I know... but it just a visceral feeling.
(Id like to go back to the agency, get a girl... and just... use her as much as possible ... showing her whos boss, every single minute. humiliating her. Im assuming I wont do that, but Im sharing my feelings on how Im dealing with this)
I got helpful feedback.. so trying again.
ADVICE PLEASE:
I have been using an agency in Tokyo, the first girl I tried I clicked with, so I just have seen her a few times.
The other day, my airbnb situation had a 1 day missing laps, aka I didnt have a place to stay, so I thought Id go to shinjuku, chill-up in a (cheap) 24hr rest place they have available there, and maybe get a girl and stay at a love hotel for a few hours.
I spent a few hours in a sauna, then chilled at the rest area... by the time I got around to scheduled the girl, I set it up for 2am... a bit early, but not abnormal for shinjuku.
I met the girl who had a facemask on etc... and went to a nearby lovehotel.
So far everything is fine.
-----------
We get to the room, she keeps her facemask on for a bit too long.. she finally takes it off, less good looking than I hoped for but shes fine.
then... it quickly goes south. very quickly, and this is before I pay her btw.
She immidiately turns the tv on. I dont like tv noise, and her just randomly setting things up like this is a bit jarring.
then shes asking if we want to fill the barthtub, and various things, while mentioning I need to pay,,, I walk to the bathroom to check out the tub and she tells me to stop, and come back...
so, just get the picture... somethings going on... shes taken her mask off now, shes looking very stressed out, and doing these things all at once... telling me what to do, messing with the tv, looking VERY stressed
so I tell her to calm down. My 'plan' was... I will let her know she can relax... "because"... in my mind, I wanted to have a nice relaxing time and no reason for her to be stressed... that was in my mind.... I stupidly thought, that it will be fine.
she snaps back that I need to calm down. and after a bit I get her to turn the tv off... and she tells me my face looks angry, she also asked if I was drunk... and so I think... what do I do?
I can cancel the session... or maybe if I pay, she will calm down... and I can let her tale control and just do it her way... so thats what I gamble on.... after all her pushy accusations I feel Im on the defense.
I text the agency and say things are a bit weird and they say 'tell us how it goes'
I pay. (about $400)...
she says she will prepare the tub. and walks into the bath area.
I lay on tbe bed... just hoping this will end up ok.
We shower together, no touching.
we get in the tub, no romance, no touching. any attempt at touching she looks very stressed out.
we get out and go into the bedroom... I forget exactly what happens but no touching.
finally she sits up and says, condom blow job something something, or uncovered something something extra.
Due to this not being remotely sensual or sexual I say no blowjob. Please relax... and I think I say... I can give you a massage.
Again, Im thinking I can get her to see, I want a mutually relaxing time.
I give her a massage, she does relax, and for a brief moment, as Im giving her a massage I can sense shes not in panic mode.
I try to kiss her ass... her hands flick me away.
I turn her over and try to move down to lick her pussy.
she wont open her legs, so I can lick just the top edge... for like 5 min or less...
then I try to lick her breasts, shes saying ok thats fine but gently.
So agian, I can see from my breast sucking, she relaxes and breathes deeply, but multiple times she pushes me away saying its too hard (I am not debating her opinion for how she feels but just noting, I know how to properly suck on a womans breasts)
see where this is going?
So Im still trying... she says, you're working too hard, lay down.
So I realize Im not getting anywhere.. so I lay down. She asks what I want. I am still trying to get her to relax, so I say, if we can lay down next to each other, kiss, hug, etc.
She says ok, honestly she looks a bit relieved, but we dont do anything regardless. ...
this apparently is close to 90min (my order amount of time.) her alarm goes off and she says 15min left "we have to hurry up" (hurry up for what?)
I honeslty hate when women tell me to hurry up so I get up and get dressed... she see me doing this and says, she wants to stay in the room and brush her teeth, maybe I can leave now and she will leave later... basically she told me to leave. So I leave.
I text the agency and say I dont want to get the girl in trouble but it was a bad sessions.
-----------
the next day I wake up and I realize I was totally fucked in that session and Im a fucking idiot.... I hate myself and Im furious at the woman (20 yo girl) and after texting with the agency a bit Im furious with them as well...
the next 2 days.... I am livid... I text the agency a bit... they keep it professional and only reply, very basic responses... offering a $50 discount next time.
Now I finally am relaxing enough to get out of being livid... still feeling very angry... I can finally understand this woman is probably very damaged, and I ended up dealing with her negative energy. Clearly I should have canceled the moment she told me to calm down... but hindsight is 20/20.
---------
I dont consider myself a chump but, I do veer to the side of wanting and prioritizing a optimal emotional experience. I usually have good sessions. A decent amount of times the woman see im open to a deeper experience and open themselves up to me... at least, as far as im concerned, Im getting the experience I want,... and it can turn into a longer term friendship, and again at this point in my life, I enjoy that... so that was the motivation behind... being too lacks with just canceling, I thought I could fix it. Also, Im not sure how to take control in the right way when this happens. this was my rented room, this was my space, I could have told her to leave, BEFORE i paid definitely, or ended the session anytime after, and just realized the situation and told her to leave...
----------
I am still very angry but calming down now, more than 2 days later... I need advice please... I cant have these types of things happen to me. I should be smart enough to avoid this.
She's 20 years old... a fucking idiot... and she fucked my last few days up. and totally ran a train on me that night. ultimately I understand she had a huge mental issue etc... but that is besides the point. She fucked me, and I let her... and then spent the next few days.... recovering from my anger.
I still like 50% hate myself honestly... and hate everyone ... its so immature... I know... but it just a visceral feeling.
(Id like to go back to the agency, get a girl... and just... use her as much as possible ... showing her whos boss, every single minute. humiliating her. Im assuming I wont do that, but Im sharing my feelings on how Im dealing with this)