A question for all Mongers

[acefifty]

It’s very hypocritical for you guys who started young and still in the hobby to say “Stop and quit right now. Save yourself.” Especially if you never ended up homeless or had interventions staged by those who care about you and found out or something along those lines. Look at the people who are married and don’t have a dead bedroom life and still hobby. We crave variety every here and there.

Addiction can be very real but you have to find the right balance. For example, don’t go to the extreme like Slim and not try your options outside of hobbying. Or like me and hobby 10x+ a month. Limit yourself and enjoy the variety of women.

It’s cheaper to hobby when you have that itch than maintaining a GF, with how social media has increased the demands of women and what they “require”. Money is a big factor now with younger women today, so you have the option to make it simple and just see a provider and leave without the extra drama else involved.

Yes, hobbying can affect you mentally. I view everything as transactional whether it’s time invested or a price. Yes it can be detrimental to your health but it’s definitely less harmful than other vices like alcohol and smoking for you. So again limit yourself and enjoy the hours you choose.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

Addiction can be very real but you have to find the right balance. For example, don’t go to the extreme like Slim and not try your options outside of hobbying. Or like me and hobby 10x+ a month. Limit yourself and enjoy the variety of women.

You make some valid points.

Personally speaking it was never an "addiction" for me, despite my frequency. Rather what I felt was my only avenue towards sex with attractive girls.
If a guy has a live in girlfriend and they have sex 4 times a day I don't think anyone would call that an "addiction".
So just because I pay, seeing girls 2 or 3 or 4 times a week, to me anyway, is nowhere near an "addiction".
And I'm still having way less sex then the guy with the live in girlfriend.

Back in the 80s I truly believed there were no other options (other than to date avg to below avg females -- unacceptable) and I had no mentors in my life to guide me.
Young guys today are much more fortunate because at least with the internet (as bad as it can be), they have access to advice that I never had. Specifically, old guys
like me to tell them about our mistakes and what we should have done differently.

Understand I am not being critical or judgemental of married guys who see escorts.
I am just advising this very young kid to try meeting a superb girl to share his life, even if just for a few years.
He said he is able to get plenty of dates. If that is true, he should try to meet a girl that makes him forget that escorts exist.
Again, only if it is for a few years. It's something he'll always remember and never regret. And regret is something I know all too well.

 

[Travelmike88]

I looked at the selection on match.com recently, it was really bad. Just a lot of beat down, worn out, bitter females. I also looked at POF, that's even worse amazingly as that is.

What is POF?

 

[AutomaticSlim]

What is POF?

Plenty of Fish

 

[Doubleyellow]

It’s very hypocritical for you guys who started young and still in the hobby to say “Stop and quit right now. Save yourself.” Especially if you never ended up homeless or had interventions staged by those who care about you and found out or something along those lines. Look at the people who are married and don’t have a dead bedroom life and still hobby. We crave variety every here and there.

Addiction can be very real but you have to find the right balance. For example, don’t go to the extreme like Slim and not try your options outside of hobbying. Or like me and hobby 10x+ a month. Limit yourself and enjoy the variety of women.

It’s cheaper to hobby when you have that itch than maintaining a GF, with how social media has increased the demands of women and what they “require”. Money is a big factor now with younger women today, so you have the option to make it simple and just see a provider and leave without the extra drama else involved.

Yes, hobbying can affect you mentally. I view everything as transactional whether it’s time invested or a price. Yes it can be detrimental to your health but it’s definitely less harmful than other vices like alcohol and smoking for you. So again limit yourself and enjoy the hours you choose.

one does not need to be homeless to prove they are alone. And you have it backwards. it is not hypocritical to say get out, while ‘we’ stay in the game. It is experience, scars, regret, wisdom.

It is a confession, penance, prayer, wish, plea, reaching the emotional bottom.

But it is not hypocritical for a lung cancer patient who is struggling to quit to say stop smoking.

 

[acefifty]

one does not need to be homeless to prove they are alone. And you have it backwards. it is not hypocritical to say get out, while ‘we’ stay in the game. It is experience, scars, regret, wisdom.

It is a confession, penance, prayer, wish, plea, reaching the emotional bottom.

But it is not hypocritical for a lung cancer patient who is struggling to quit to say stop smoking.

Regret? When I’m 60 I’m more likely to regret smoking at a young age or having a bad diet rather than the hundreds of Asian girls I plowed that would’ve probably never looked my way outside of this hobby. You have a better chance of getting cancer than getting tested positive for the 3 letter words we cannot speak about on here.

Paying to enjoy an hour with a hot experienced women is better than others in my generation who pay for OnlyFans of famous IG models or girls they went to school with. Who is more down bad? One who pays to DIY or one who pays for action?

A lot of you are blowing the negatives out of proportion rather than taking the hobby for what it is. At the end of the day this hobby is simply a business transaction. Keep emotions out of business and it’ll save you any mental strain and drama. Enjoy the hour you spend, drink that free water bottle, and be on your way.

 

[Doubleyellow]

Regret? When I’m 60 I’m more likely to regret smoking at a young age or having a bad diet rather than the hundreds of Asian girls I plowed that would’ve probably never looked my way outside of this hobby. You have a better chance of getting cancer than getting tested positive for the 3 letter words we cannot speak about on here.

Paying to enjoy an hour with a hot experienced women is better than others in my generation who pay for OnlyFans of famous IG models or girls they went to school with. Who is more down bad? One who pays to DIY or one who pays for action?

A lot of you are blowing the negatives out of proportion rather than taking the hobby for what it is. At the end of the day this hobby is simply a business transaction. Keep emotions out of business and it’ll save you any mental strain and drama. Enjoy the hour you spend, drink that free water bottle, and be on your way.

Although I think you oversimplify, you are not wrong, for yourself. And I have rightly preached the same as you. I was wrong. In time you might understand the balance needs both thesis and anthesis to find true center. That requires the center of the pendulum to swing
between transaction with emotional interaction at one end, and total dissociation (if that is possible), at the other. If this struggle is too much, your heart may be too cold for another to be with.

 

[sjchevy]

I looked at the selection on match.com recently, it was really bad. Just a lot of beat down, worn out, bitter females. I also looked at POF, that's even worse amazingly as that is.

I guess you can say that is the rule. But I have found that there certainly are many exceptions to the rule. I've had very good luck with match and bumble.

 

[AutomaticSlim]

I guess you can say that is the rule. But I have found that there certainly are many exceptions to the rule. I've had very good luck with match and bumble.

How old are you?
I would imagine if you are under 40 you can still pull girls in their 20s from those sites.
Try doing that if you are over 55...

 

[sjchevy]

How old are you?
I would imagine if you are under 40 you can still pull girls in their 20s from those sites.
Try doing that if you are over 55...

I am 62, and have had good luck searching 45-55.

 

[Captainkool]

Back to Susan, anyone remember before she was a MMS, her working in north jersey?
And anyone know what she’s up to know?

 

[AutomaticSlim]

Regret? When I’m 60 I’m more likely to regret smoking at a young age or having a bad diet rather than the hundreds of Asian girls I plowed that would’ve probably never looked my way outside of this hobby. You have a better chance of getting cancer than getting tested positive for the 3 letter words we cannot speak about on here.

Paying to enjoy an hour with a hot experienced women is better than others in my generation who pay for OnlyFans of famous IG models or girls they went to school with. Who is more down bad? One who pays to DIY or one who pays for action?

A lot of you are blowing the negatives out of proportion rather than taking the hobby for what it is. At the end of the day this hobby is simply a business transaction. Keep emotions out of business and it’ll save you any mental strain and drama. Enjoy the hour you spend, drink that free water bottle, and be on your way.

I was on the other thread and saw you mentioned your age there.
You are very young.
When I was your age I felt the exact same way as you.
I thought I was cooler than most other guys, because I could get laid whenever I wanted, whereas they would have to go to bars and dance around like clowns to try to impress girls, and strike out 99% (or 100%) of the time.
It even got to the point that I would snub girls. No returning smiles. No returning hellos. No engaging in small talk that they would start. It didn't happen all the time, I am no George Clooney. But I do remember that when it happened, I gave them the cold shoulder and, at the time, it felt damn good to me (yeah..I'm pretty messed up).
I moved in the SF Bay area from 90 to 92. The women there were much more outwardly friendly than in NY. Didn't matter to me. In my mind, I needed no one, because I had hookers.

In fact, I didn't start regretting my decisions until I was in my forties.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks...now it's too late.
So I like to tell the young guys on this site: Don't wait until it is too late.
Take care and have a great week.

 

[Collegekid221234]

Thank y’all for the words of wisdom. I guess I only did it because I liked the thrill of it not being allowed. All my adolescent life getting attractive girls were pretty easy for me even up until now. This kind of lost its spark recently and I went for something more taboo like mongering. I guess that’s the young stupidness in me. I got my first career job but in no way am I financially setup to my standards so I’ll definitely take you guys advice and slow it down to twice a year or something. There’s also a part of me that wanted to experience older women. I only know how to “pull” or attract girls my age or a tiny bit older but I’m scared that the dating market is completely different when you hit 25 and above and I wanted to get a head start and see what older women are like in terms of intimacy. Anyways thank each and everyone of y’all’s advice.

 

[zippydoda]

Thank y’all for the words of wisdom. I guess I only did it because I liked the thrill of it not being allowed. All my adolescent life getting attractive girls were pretty easy for me even up until now. This kind of lost its spark recently and I went for something more taboo like mongering. I guess that’s the young stupidness in me. I got my first career job but in no way am I financially setup to my standards so I’ll definitely take you guys advice and slow it down to twice a year or something. There’s also a part of me that wanted to experience older women. I only know how to “pull” or attract girls my age or a tiny bit older but I’m scared that the dating market is completely different when you hit 25 and above and I wanted to get a head start and see what older women are like in terms of intimacy. Anyways thank each and everyone of y’all’s advice.

Don't forget that some of these places are halfway decent massages too...............with a little extra relaxation. There is a big diff between replacing actual relationships and going after a long day to relax, close your eyes, and totally unwind with no effort on your part.

Just keep it all in perspective and remember moderation in all things.

 

[dcent21]

Thank y’all for the words of wisdom. I guess I only did it because I liked the thrill of it not being allowed. All my adolescent life getting attractive girls were pretty easy for me even up until now. This kind of lost its spark recently and I went for something more taboo like mongering. I guess that’s the young stupidness in me. I got my first career job but in no way am I financially setup to my standards so I’ll definitely take you guys advice and slow it down to twice a year or something. There’s also a part of me that wanted to experience older women. I only know how to “pull” or attract girls my age or a tiny bit older but I’m scared that the dating market is completely different when you hit 25 and above and I wanted to get a head start and see what older women are like in terms of intimacy. Anyways thank each and everyone of y’all’s advice.

Not sure if it's been mentioned but using the dating sight to fulfil MILF fantasy is probably cheaper and healthier both mentally and physically....financially depends on how you value and success (or should it be SUCK-Cess) on those dates

 

[acefifty]

It even got to the point that I would snub girls. No returning smiles. No returning hellos. No engaging in small talk that they would start. It didn't happen all the time, I am no George Clooney. But I do remember that when it happened, I gave them the cold shoulder and, at the time, it felt damn good to me (yeah..I'm pretty messed up).

Ok now this part I can relate to a bit too much, especially on days I plan to hobby. I don’t like engaging in small talk at all and give up on texting quick if I feel like it’s not going anywhere. Or I feel like most women are just gold diggers and rather just see an AMP and be in an out. I have few girls in my inbox who I really liked in the past who curved me, who I would’ve loved to get with, come back now since my life is a lot better off and try to get something in motion. But I rather just leave them on delivered and go see a provider than engage in convo and see where it may lead. In hindsight it’s not a good practice & I appreciate you pointing that out.

Weeks ago while I was on my way to an AMP I got a text from my Puerto Rican hookup to come over and I still decided to go to the AMP first then go to her house a few hours later. Some time went by I went over & I couldn’t get up and she became so mad at me/herself and told me to leave. Rip that hookup. I have a harder time staying up with women my age than providers and it shouldn’t be like that.

 

[Driver]

You are better off just dating or establishing a serious relationship. It has been 18 months plus since my last spa or escort encounter. Do not miss it, plus I feel much better about myself. Have put more effort in with my SO and all is good. I had 3 instances that just turned me off. 1 of the 3 totally skeeved me out. 2 of the instances involved escorts. Both of the escorts have reviews on this site. Went to visit 1, room reeked of weed, she seemed high, and just sloppy that I immediately left. Other escort was just very plain looking, pale, thin, barely anything up top, that after I left I said to myself "What a waste of money, I cannot believe I paid for that". Lastly at a well-reviewed spa in South Jersey, the well-known 70 year-old therapist tried twice to give me the "special". The thought of her old age, countless number of guys she has done, and how many that went with the "special", I got dressed and quickly left.

 

[sjchevy]

It has been 18 months plus since my last spa or escort encounter. Do not miss it, …. Lastly at a well-reviewed spa in South Jersey, the well-known 70 year-old therapist tried twice to give me the "special". The thought of her old age, .

Wow!!! 70? Crazy

 

[Hangin420]

Everyone here saying to go lightly watch money, and build real relationships outside of this are spot on. I'm in my early 40s. Started in my 30s, and between this and a strip club I use to frequent (thank God it closed) I couldn't even put a number to how much money I've blown. Especially the last few years.

Luckily my finances are in order, and it doesn't effect my personal life, and relationships

 

[mducati]

I thought I was cooler than most other guys, because I could get laid whenever I wanted, whereas they would have to go to bars and dance around like clowns to try to impress girls,

lol
No matter which choice you make, keep in mind that sexual monogamy is the Communism of civilian life. Great in theory, against human nature in practice. It's the least talked problem of our society, hushed through same-gender friends, rarely openly debated. I know the back story of my married friends (like many others on here I'm sure), it's no easy life. At some point I thought a relationship would bring at least stability in life, but it's far to be a common case. I think many relationships are the result of fear of loneliness, not an added value. Of course this doesn't apply to all relationships, but it's something to keep in mind before stepping into a commitment.

Slim, I can only say one thing confidently: there isn't a whole lot to regret in never being married or even have children. Both lifestyle have their reasons to be, despite the "common social wisdom" described in movies.