Two things can be true at once: it feels great (emotionally nourishing, whatever) AND it’s cheating.
Men are programmed to spread their seed around, women are programmed to be selective in choosing whom to fuck; everyone knows exceptions, but generally it proves true.
Some married men resist the urge to screw whores, some men draw the line at happy endings.
In any case, like gambling, taking drugs, etc, sex releases serotonin, endorphins, so it can easily become an addiction and a vice.
I’m not judging, I have this vice myself. However, by staying within my limits of expense and time and what I’m willing to do and not do, I’m okay knowing that I have this vice. It’s a stable vice, which in fact has lessened a lot as I’ve gotten older.
But I’m not going to lie to myself that it’s all good, or justify it because my wife doesn’t want to have sex like when we were younger. I know she’d be upset to discover my mongering. It’s also possible she has her suspicions but has reached a separate peace with that as long as I’m not having an affair with a civvie.
Yeah, I’m a cheater. I’ll live with that.