I’m in an almost identical situation. Married 31 years, love my wife madly and love being married to her, but we don’t have much of a sex life. Have been in and out of the hobby for 15 years. These days mostly out. For me, and I think for you as well, it’s just not worth the risk. On top of not wanting to lose your family, and wind up alone, think of the financial risk. After working hard for all of these years, do you really want to sign over half of your liquid assets plus your home(s)? And end up living in some shitty condo and bagging groceries at Trader Joe’s until you’re 75?
I do a very occasional AMP/R&T visit to a local place I know is very safe. When I travel for work to a locale where I know it’s safe (generally Canada or UK), which is once or twice a year, I stay a few extra days and have a whore-fest. I watch and jack off to a lot of porn. And live vicariously through this site. Maybe you could adopt a similar strategy.