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My Top Pet Peeves about AMPS.

jussmax

Review Contributor
Messages: 128
Reviews: 14
Joined
#21
Scenario one:
Walking into a place, asking to choose a girl and then mama says "all girls are busy".
Yet you just walked by 5 out of 6 open doors with action happening in the closed one.
Then she wants the house fee and tells you that she is going to give you the table shower whle the "other busy girls" finish up.
Then one of the many "busy girls" walks rapidly into the room and starts rushing.
Blah

Scenario two:
Going to a place as early you can on a Saturday morning right before work.
The place has no table shower. No big deal, I just showered before work.
Cute chick walks into the room with Ramen breath and starts to negotiate.
Gets her cash, you do a mutual watered down Listerine rinse and get to the massage.
She gets down to the birthday suit then gives the litle guy his raincoat.
You start relaxing, enjoying the moment with a little body to body rub when the doorbell rings/chimes.
Some loud douche announces he's bringing his buddies in at lunch and wants to see the girls.
So you can hear his footsteps down the hall, and he starts OPENING DOORS.
"Are the girls here?!?!" "Are they in here?" as he checks all the doors. Yours is locked but he stills tries to open it.
Needless to say you can't get back to attention, finish soft and your morning is ruined.
 

jtmobile

Review Contributor
Messages: 108
Reviews: 16
Joined
#22
Scenario two:
Going to a place as early you can on a Saturday morning right before work.
The place has no table shower. No big deal, I just showered before work.
Cute chick walks into the room with Ramen breath and starts to negotiate.
Gets her cash, you do a mutual watered down Listerine rinse and get to the massage.
She gets down to the birthday suit then gives the litle guy his raincoat.
You start relaxing, enjoying the moment with a little body to body rub when the doorbell rings/chimes.
Some loud douche announces he's bringing his buddies in at lunch and wants to see the girls.
So you can hear his footsteps down the hall, and he starts OPENING DOORS.
"Are the girls here?!?!" "Are they in here?" as he checks all the doors. Yours is locked but he stills tries to open it.
Needless to say you can't get back to attention, finish soft and your morning is ruined.
My response to nightmare scenario 2 would be "Dude! if you ain't here to scrub me, yank me or rub my shoulders take your buddies and GTFO- on my dime here!"
 

theoldcavalier

Registered Member
Messages: 23
Joined
#23
Around Chicago the AMPs mostly seem to be either Chinese or Korean. I've had mostly good experiences in both, but occasionally -- not recently -- have had a masseuse who clearly didn't want to be there (at least not me), the upsell for every single "extra" (oh honey, you want top down, that's another 40), one session I almost couldn't nudge past DIY, another where the masseuse gave just a legit massage (a good one, I'll credit her for that) and then hinted that if I wanted more I had to pay for another half hour. (These things were all or nearly all in Chinese establishments -- by which I don't mean to generalize, as I said my experiences were mostly good, but I've just had better luck in the Korean AMPs.)

Reading the posts here I feel I've been really lucky on the whole, and I'm all the more grateful for my Korean ladies and more likely to stick with them.
 

chaoslover

Review Contributor
Messages: 545
Reviews: 43
Joined
#24
All those and...
1. If you're only there for a HE and she grips it like she's trying to choke her ex-husband!!! Come on! It shows no respect ;o)
2. That and course/rough hands! I know they are washing them a lot but get some lotion and take care of those bad boys! It's your livelihood!!!
 

joecool95

Registered Member
Messages: 772
Reviews: 4
Joined
#25
Using or overusing cheap oils.
While most oils I have no skin reaction to, some shops use low quality oils that irritate my skin as if they were applying vinegar to an open wound.
buy a small bottle/tube with a good massage cream like they use at legit mp's. one time i told the girl to tell the effin boss to get some of what i gave her to use and she said " he cheap fuck". that's why they get the oil at 99 cent store. :censored:
 

chaoslover

Review Contributor
Messages: 545
Reviews: 43
Joined
#26
buy a small bottle/tube with a good massage cream like they use at legit mp's. one time i told the girl to tell the effin boss to get some of what i gave her to use and she said " he cheap fuck". that's why they get the oil at 99 cent store. :censored:
I sometime get the scent and think they are using canola oil on me! :p
 

Squidman

Registered Member
Messages: 19
Reviews: 2
Joined
#28
Baby oil. No matter how many hot towels they use, you still smell like a diaper. Very creepy to smell like that as a grown man. Also hard to explain.

Answering the door while in a session because “the other girl is busy”. So are you!!

Nickel and diming during the session- $10 more if she switches hands, $20 per cheek for roaming, $25 pants halfway down, $50 to the ankles, all discussed mid stroke! And she wants you to get up for every additional contribution!

Girls who chant “I love you!” during the deed. Like it’s a turn on.
 

FullMnty

Review Contributor
Messages: 373
Reviews: 32
Joined
#30
Women yelling loudly to one another in the hall while I'm getting a massage.
Nasty MMSs.
In one NNJ spa, they use Costco Olive oil instead of massage oil on you.
Watching the girl who just gave me a massage leave my room and immediately go into another room to service a new customer without taking care of any personal hygiene.
Ladies with beer bellies.
 

Livingthedream

Review Contributor
Messages: 310
Reviews: 91
Joined
#33
Rooms without walls to the ceiling or curtains instead of doors, I’m not a loud person but don’t need to concentrate that hard on worrying about it, also the constant phone handling, be it texting or just reading messages.
 

Doubleyellow

Registered Member
Messages: 919
Reviews: 21
Joined
#37
when they answer the phone during doggy…..and set the next appointment to start before your time runs out. the upside is they can’t fake a moan when on the phone, and the tactic is to hold out for a while to burn up your time.

when you finish they jump up, do a quick clean up, then grab the doorknob with a spunk laden hand to get a towel. never touch any doorknobs.
 
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