At a crossroads.....

Hello to all my fellow whore mongers. I've been lurking for a while and decided to finally join. I also just posted a review that's pending acceptance at this time. I've been seeing providers more or less weekly now for 3 years. I originally starting doing this on a regular basis to get over a heartbreak from unrequited love. I've been with at least 120 providers already.

My first regular fell in love with me. She was a 21 year old, beautiful, foreign born Latina. She was also a cocaine addict. First she started letting me stay for an extra hour paying the house out of her pocket. Eventually, let's just say the sex became more.....intimate. We starting seeing each other outside of the agency and she stopped charging me completely. I knew this wouldn't last so I tried to fuck her as often as possible. She stayed the night at my apartment. She started telling me directly and indirectly that she loved me but I took it with a grain of salt. Eventually, I started to fall in love with her as I was lonely and starved for affection. .Long story short, shit got real and it ended on a bitter note.

I really enjoy seeing providers but I am very lonely. I'm in my 30s and never had a serious relationship. A big part of me wants to love a woman and be loved by a woman. Another big part of me loves sexual variety and how easily it comes with the hobby. I think I've always been afraid of commitment. More specifically, I've been afraid having my heartbroken or breaking a woman's heart in a long term monogamous relationship. And now I've managed to fall in love with another provider. Unlike the first time, it's now reversed where I'm in love with her and she's yet to fall in love with me.

I'd like to hear from mongers around my age or older who have been doing this for 10+ years. How has this hobby effected you mentally? How do you deal with the loneliness in the long term if you are single? And how do you keep it from your SO or otherwise feel about cheating on them?

If you dont see her outside of place of business it will never happen how long have you been seeing her?

About 2 years with some periods of intermission. I've seen her outside of the agency in which we met. She doesn't watch the clock with me but she's never given me a freebie. I know her full government name. She talks about leaving the business some day soon but who knows what will happen. Frankly, I'm not even sure what I want with her in the long term. I just know that I love her.

If you spent half of your escort money on counseling, you might actually get some good answers to your questions.
I am guessing most, if not all of us need counseling to some extent. I would say that most of us are not looking for a long term loving relationship from an escort.

I've been considering counseling for a while now. I actually saw a counselor after the situationship with the first escort I mentioned. I went for a consultation but I never followed up.

Honestly, I'm skeptical about how much therapy can help me with this. I'm somewhat of a depressive realist or philosophical pessimist. And I tend to be most attracted to tortured souls like myself. I feel like no matter which path I take, I'm bound to be disappointed and to disappoint others so fuck it.

Pre-35? Look for love but not with a pro.

Post-35? You kind of missed the boat to be normal anyway, so might as well take a chance with anyone, pro, fat, aboriginal, Nazi, arsonist, whoever...

If normal means divorced or trapped in an unfulfilled relationship its a boat many should be glad to miss

Exactly. I think that life is always bound to be disappointing in some way. That's just the human predicament. I'm not a square dude so I tend not to like square women. And a picture perfect life with a wife, kids and white picket fence doesn't appeal to me. I deeply want a loving long term relationship with a woman but I don't truly want to give up the hobby completely. The stress, anxiety and guilt from trying to hide my lifestyle from an SO is not appealing to me.

A lot of of us live dual (multiple) lives. There's the "happily" married or otherwise significant relationship. Things may be a little boring (or non-existent) in the home bedroom, but she loves you, and you love her. There's the mongering option, which comprises a range that goes from totally random encounters to quite monogamous. I am married, for decades. I also tend to focus on one provider. Of course there may be trips (Asia, DR, Vegas, etc.), but in a C19 world not so much. I think the main thing is to acquire the mix of female sexual variety and love & devotion that makes you most comfortable with who you are and what your budget allows. If you are truly lonely, get after a good woman. It's okay to kiss a few frogs until you find your princess, but the civilian population is more suited for that. Providers are in it for a living. Some may be searching for their knight in shining armor, but their issues tend to fuck things up eventually.

As for therapy/counseling, the profession is highly overrated. While I know quite a few people in therapy, they never seem to change or do more than gain minute steps of progress. All the while, the therapist vacations at the shore. I spend my money on fucking women. They have taught me a lot about myself, especially how to make them, and myself, happy!

"I'd like to hear from mongers around my age or older who have been doing this for 10+ years"
- 35 years

"How has this hobby effected you mentally?"
- It's the single defining element of my life. It's all I know.

"How do you deal with the loneliness in the long term if you are single?"
- By seeing more girls. And drinking heavily. Although I am trying to cut down on the latter.

"And how do you keep it from your SO or otherwise feel about cheating on them?"
- Never had one and almost certainly never will. Would have liked to have one, but just not in the cards for me.

I don’t qualify for the 10+ years but I’m mongering a little bit on the side to supplement a small part of my current relationship.

Mentally? I set a boundary. A line i don’t cross beyond the one I’ve already crossed, ironically. No feels, because it’s a waste of time. There’s no future for it. It’s all play for me and work for her.

My thoughts on mongering is that... this is a want I’m satisfying. It was said once on here somewhere that sex and making love between a couple is an intimate activity they shared together. But for oneself, the sex isn’t her responsibility or her duty but his own.

So there i am, in another bedroom with a different woman at another moment in time. Making bittersweet memories for myself to succumb to an insatiable hunger that was amplified and brought to light by events of my life transpired this year.

I still know where my heart is. It’s home. Fortified by the love, warmth, and passion we nurtured over the years from our beginnings. This is something i will never get from mongering, and that is how i distinguish them.

It looks like you're exactly who I want to talk to. It really struck me when you said its the single defining aspect of your life. Damn that's deep. I feel like I'm almost there to be honest. Can you tell me what your professional and personal life is like? Do you have friends? Are you close to any of your family members? Do you make enough money to afford your habit and how often do you do it?

I'd also like to add that I seem to have a very high sex drive. It seems like the more sex I get, the more sex I want. Its almost like chasing a high. I also tend to abuse porn which I why I stay away from it for the most part. But sometimes I wonder if its less about my sex drive and more of an attempt to numb my feelings of loneliness.

Can you tell me what your professional and personal life is like?
- I'm an IT consultant with 33.5 years experience. I have worked almost exclusively with large Wall St. IBs.

Do you have friends?
- Yes. Many of them know what I do.

Are you close to any of your family members?
- No. I have a couple of Aunts left that I care about, and a couple of cousins as well. But as for my immediate family? No, not close at all. I got along OK with my father, but not my mother. They are both gone. I have not spoken to my sister in over 3 years, snake that she is.

Do you make enough money to afford your habit and how often do you do it?
- Yes. I've always earned a good income and I have a good enough net worth to last me about 12-15 years without working and not changing my lifestyle.

Before covid, I was seeing 3 escorts 3 a week in Mahattan or NNJ and often a 4th on Sundays at the local rub n tug joints.
Now it's usually 2 girls a week and sometimes 3 (including my regular, who I've been seeing since last Decemeber at my place).
Mostly that's due to my working from home instead of at the office in midtown.

It's a lonely life for me, but my married friends think it's great. The grass is always greener I guess.
I suppose I only view females as young, thin and pretty. I could never be attracted to a middle aged woman.
If one had given herself to me at 19 or 20 when I was 25 or so, I like think I would have been loyal to her, but who knows?

If you dont like it, get out. But at least tie the knot and/or drop your seed by 37...40 at the latest. Then you're normal.

Not to say I'm normal. My chick is a 6'5" hirsuite jihadist birdwatcher currently recently switched to outpatient.

There are many vices and addictions in this world Mongering is just one of them, if you were chasing and banging chicks out from Tinder and having one night stands it would be very similar feelings that your having now, trust me I've done both. I think this world requires you to have balance to get perspective. I have many addictive vices that I partake in mainly Women and Pot, I thoroughly enjoy both better at the same time lol. However being an introspective person such as myself and from what I read yourself too, I need to take a break from from the vices to gain perspective. Trust me if even for a short while you will start to UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU NEED.

7.8 BILLION people in this world there is someone for everyone Trust me. Just be honest with yourself and the person you could be with. When your honest you get what you want Always

(You never know there may be a woman who goes mongering with you. Spinners see couples too lol)

Damn 3 girls a week? I need to make more money lol. I don't think I've ever done more than two sessions a week with two girls. And it was two hh sessions for 200 which I still couldn't really afford tbh. I've run my debt up doing this hobby.

The only family member I'm close to is my mother. My father and I keep trying to get closer but it never works out. My sibling and I had a falling out and I don't see it recovering. I have two close friends, one of whom has followed me in becoming a monger. I talk to the other friend all the time but I almost never hang out with either of them. I say all this to say that I don't really have many close relationships in my life which can only worsen loneliness. There's even studies that say loneliness can be bad for your health for one reason or another.

Why do you think you had such a hard time with women when you were young? Also do your coworkers ask you why you don't have a significant other?

- I always do 60 min sessions and sometimes 90 or 120 mins.

Why do you think you had such a hard time with women when you were young?
- Because as a kid growing up I was skinny and weak and an easy target. I gained about 50 lbs when I was a junior in college, but by then I was already too f-d up to ever be normal.

Also do your coworkers ask you why you don't have a significant other?
- Not just coworkers, the escorts ask me this too. I tell them the truth. Females are not attracted to me.

Have ever had a escort girl asking you out for a date outside the hobby , Slim? How do you respond to them?

Damn bro. Its crazy how childhood trauma can fuck us up for life. And I'm sorry to hear that women aren't attracted to you. In my case, many women do find me physically attractive and like my personality but I don't have my shit together and I'm pretty certain that sexual monogamy isnt for me.