I’m with CCZG on this. This is review and discussion board and not a support group, yet you’ve started multiple threads about this very topic and insert it into existing threads too, whether it’s germane or not. You have many, many, many posts about a Coco wanting to be taken care of by a rich guy, and the Tarzan-loving lady too, which you alternate with constant reminders to yourself that these women being conniving monsters.
I’m genuinely confused by this, and frankly, nervous for you. That you’re this hung up and conflicted about trying to have a loving, intimate relationship based on trust, and with an opportunity to grow, with women that pork hundred of men per year and probably nothing in common with you is a sign, to me, that you’re in too deep. Like Christopher Walken at the end of Deer Hunter.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if I were you, I’d walk away from this for a while; try to meet and bang a civilian to recalibrate yourself.