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Divorce
- Thread starter Honda
- Start date
It's not a good thing that you started mongering early on in the marriage. I didnt start going to providers until after my divorce. All I can say is as bad as it gets right after the divorce it does get better with time. I banged a lot of pros and it was great for a while but I still prefer sex with a girlfriend rather than banging whores forever.
Marriage like life is a game. If you try to play fair you generally lose. It is sad but that is real world stuff. My suggestion... lawyer up and call it a day. You have no kids to worry about, which allays a huge part of the issue of getting divorce. You said she has a job, so alimony should be limited to none. You caught her on the phone saying this stuff, very likely she's already had sex. Now, you cheated as well, so you are not necessarily better but she doesn't know so you should NEVER admit that, keep the leg up in case you need it (when she tries to demand too much in the split). But get out now, this is not going to get better. Weight loss surgery is like a new set of tits. Now she thinks she is god's gift because a few guys give her attention (sad reality many women refuse to realize, guys will hit on anything that is remotely fuckable) and she is gonna get hers. Obviously as someone with anxiety/depression this is not going to go well for you to discover the truth - which likely will be dick pics, and graphic descriptions of her escapades. In the long run you are going to be better off and far more happy. I am positive of that. Good luck sir!!
Damn - too later to really get into this - not the time but all the good responses.
@jim_hatez hits it home here. I've been somewhere close to you with my first marriage. Even though @charliebrown won't say it - I see it as over. You both are/were stepping out. She probably the same way as you - not emotional but still... You are both to blame. As CB says go and get straight. Just don't "LEAVE" cause that is abandonment and she will win.
@jim_hatez hits it home here. I've been somewhere close to you with my first marriage. Even though @charliebrown won't say it - I see it as over. You both are/were stepping out. She probably the same way as you - not emotional but still... You are both to blame. As CB says go and get straight. Just don't "LEAVE" cause that is abandonment and she will win.
I don’t know a whole lot about this, but from what I’ve seen and heard, couples can overcome a lot. But when one or both decide they want out, they find something and harp on it. What I’m trying to say, is there is more to her wanting out, she’s using the child as a sledgehammer. Like others have said, take care of yourself. She’s decided she wants out, don’t let anything she says get to you. Think clearly.
How much porn did/do you watch? Did your wife ever catch you watching porn? Just looks like there is much going on between you and wife. She is unhappy, you state you are unhappy, plus suffering from depression and anxiety along with your porn addiction. Probably just best to concentrate on yourself and get to a more enjoyable life.
Talk to her. Tell her you feel that she disrespected you. Tell her that if she feels that this is over and no saving it thats what you will do. Tell her though once its over its over. You are willing to go and go to therapy etc.
If she still says she wants to split let her. Avoid her after. She will be calling u and wanting to fuck her at least one more time provided she doesn fully hate you.
Try and get your mind off this. Sleep well, eat well and try and exercise if you dont already. If you must see pros. See reliable ones.
Flirt with more Women. Open an online acct to meet Women. Women have a habit of setting up their life. Before they split there most probably has been someone for at least a little while.
You have to be the Man, the rock. Abscence makes the heart grow fonder.
If she still says she wants to split let her. Avoid her after. She will be calling u and wanting to fuck her at least one more time provided she doesn fully hate you.
Try and get your mind off this. Sleep well, eat well and try and exercise if you dont already. If you must see pros. See reliable ones.
Flirt with more Women. Open an online acct to meet Women. Women have a habit of setting up their life. Before they split there most probably has been someone for at least a little while.
You have to be the Man, the rock. Abscence makes the heart grow fonder.
Guys she has been avoiding me the last couple of days. I’d get home from work and she’d be in the guest bedroom. We are sleeping in separate bedrooms for almost a month. Not wanting dinner just wanting alone time. Or jumping in the car for a ride and coming back hours later. Yesterday I dropped my truck at the mechanic and she picked me up. We had dinner together and spoke about divorce. We both decided it would be best to wait to sell the house until this COVID crisis is over and to live civil in the house together. Guys see is very hurt she says because for the last couple of years. I haven’t been as attentive or affectionate as I used to be and she has been feeling very lonely. I still love her guys and see the waiting to sell the house as my chance to show her I can be that man again. I think she just needs time for her heart to soften. One more thing. I see this guy that grow up in her neighborhood when she was younger has been calling her. Not everyday but enough. This MF likes everyone of her Instagram photos. This stared early April from what I can tell. Should I ask about him or call this MF and ask what’s up with him and my still wife or say nothing?
A tale of two relationships. I said earlier that I just passed the 50 yr mark but it has been a very rough ride. It has only improved since I started hobbying. Much of the time we are more like acquaintances than husband and wife.
The other relationship is my brother. He was divorced 17 yrs ago but he and his ex have become very close friends. I see her at all of the family gatherings. Many times they arrive and leave together and if she needs anything he takes care of it.
The moral is that both of you may be better off long term if you let it go. Time does heal most wounds.
As far as the other guy, my instinct would be to find him and kill him but then you would be giving up the rest of your life for the asshole. Just move on, there is someone else waiting out there.
The other relationship is my brother. He was divorced 17 yrs ago but he and his ex have become very close friends. I see her at all of the family gatherings. Many times they arrive and leave together and if she needs anything he takes care of it.
The moral is that both of you may be better off long term if you let it go. Time does heal most wounds.
As far as the other guy, my instinct would be to find him and kill him but then you would be giving up the rest of your life for the asshole. Just move on, there is someone else waiting out there.
It still sounds resolvable if you want to take the high road and give it a go. Bring her some flowers and tell you ordered take out from her favorite restaurant. And that you set a nice table out on the deck or patio.
One of the secrets to a happy marriage is to have a date night every week. A little wine, nice food and time to talk. Really it''s no different than when you were dating.
It''s hard, I know, when the kids were young you fell out of the dating habits. Time to pick them up again. (End of my pep talk)
One of the secrets to a happy marriage is to have a date night every week. A little wine, nice food and time to talk. Really it''s no different than when you were dating.
It''s hard, I know, when the kids were young you fell out of the dating habits. Time to pick them up again. (End of my pep talk)
Seriously ask yourself if you can remain faithful and stay away from massage parlors and escorts along with watching excessive amounts of porn. She may or may not be guilty of going behind your back, but as you stated, you "mongered" for 11 years. Emails/texts, what also were your doing, sexting and trying to find females other than MP girls or escorts?
