Divorce

[kgmspa]

My take - Honda needs a good massage

 

[Uniquelyme]

Cheaper to keep her. Why give lawyers your money.

If she wants to leave u shouldnt force her though. I got a few colleagues their girl makes more than them.

This isnt the movies you can't convince these Women to stay nor should you. I getcha about losing money but if shes done. Thats it, best to keep your pride.

 

[SoStrong]

Guys I’ve been married going on 16 years this October. My wife says we have been living like roommates for the last couple of years. We still had sex every once and awhile, out to dinner, weekend getaways every so often. But the connection is not like what it used to be. We both haven’t put our marriage first. Out of the 16 years we were married. I mongered 11 of those years. I stopped in 2018 because I wanted to be a better husband. About two years ago she had weight loss surgery and lost her mind. Partying with girlfriends every weekend. Saying she wants to enjoy life. I work six days a week sometimes up to 10-12 a day. I get home I’am tired. Plus we live in the suburbs and it’s a hour to a hour and a half ride one way to work. When I get home Saturday I don’t want to do nothing but relax while she wants to go out. She has told me to step up on my husband duties being more romantic. But what about Her cooking and cleaning around the house. So about two weeks ago I got up to use the bathroom and she was downstairs on the phone with I thought a girlfriend. It just felt strange to me because it was really late. I usually close the bedroom door but this time I didn’t. I couldn’t go back to sleep. She had was listening to music and talking at the same time but it was low enough for my to hear some of what she was saying. Then it sounded like she was playing with herself moaning and all. I want downstairs to investigate. She had her cellphone face down on her shoulder and asked if I was ok. I told her I was getting something to drink. She said she would be up soon. Also she had been drinking wine also I wouldn’t know how much until the morning. I felt really strange so want back to bed but opened the bedroom door all the way so I could better and stayed near it. Then I heard her telling whoever was on the phone how she wanted to be eaten out and how juicy her pussy was and how she wanted to cum all over his face. I ran downstairs and took her phone but the person and hung up already. I asked her who she was talking to. She said if didn’t matter. That I did care about her and didn’t love her so not to worry who she was on the phone with. She ran upstairs to the guest bedroom I followed. We argued for awhile she was drunk out of her mind. She eventually want to sleep in our bed. The next day I want to work and we spoke over the phone and both told each other we needed to talk when I got home. I thought we would discuss what happened the night before. I got home and she told me she wanted a divorce. She had been unhappy for awhile and she had enough. I’ve been unhappy also but I suffer from depression and anxiety. I love her and want to try and save the marriage but at this time she does not. I’ve wanted to monger so bad these last to years. I especially now that she says she doesn’t think we can reconcile. I’am holding out a little longer hoping she will come around and go to marriage counseling. She also swears there is no one else and the phone incident was just flirting and the alcohol took it to a extreme. I don’t know what to do thanks for listening guys.

What it sounds like here is she is spending more time hanging out with her bitchy hoe girlfriends rather than being a real wife. When these women get together they like to get drunk on wine and talk all sorts of shit about their husbands. Its like the real housewives kind of stupid nasty shit. It snowballs from there. There is always one bitch in the group trying to get another to get divorced so she can live out a dramatic fantasy. It’s mean girls gone wild. The more she hangs with those other bitches the worse it will get. It’s even worse if they live in your neighborhood and she can drink and walk home. That’s the root of the problem. No marriage after 16 years has partners fucking like rabbits, they all slow down. If she is cheating and you don’t have kids I would try to hide your money and get out. Credit card receipts for drinks at casinos are a good evidence factor for money lost gambling. Trips to an amp on occasion for a r&t are not the same as an emotionally driven sexual relationship outside of marriage. Get evidence on her cheating if you can, a private investigator can be worth it if there is a lot of money on the line. Remember it’s not just her that will want your money but her new fuckbuddy too. Good luck.

 

[dwind]

try to hide your money and get out. Credit card receipts for drinks at casinos are a good evidence factor for money lost gambling.

...good advice.

 

[mitchxy1]

Honda, I haven't read that you and your wife were ever really happy. And you mongering after a few years of marriage is kind of proof of that. And you never said she was a great wife. You love her, or you think you love her because you don't want to lose her? There's a difference, especially if you don't want to lose her just because you're afraid of the unknown, which is a strong possibility since you have some personal issues. Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean it should continue. The recent events sound like the straw breaking the camels back. Women are much less likely to give up on marriage than men. So when they do, and she doesn't seem to be using it as a threat, I think it's over.
Take a step back and look at your marriage in it's entirety as if it was already over and it's a few years later. Was it worth saving? Was it a very good marriage where you were partners, supported each other and did things just to make the other happy? And don't look at it with lowered standards. You deserve better. Maybe she does too. Just because you've been married a long time doesn't mean it makes sense to stay together just because...

 

[Bricktop]

Honda, I haven't read that you and your wife were ever really happy. And you mongering after a few years of marriage is kind of proof of that. And you never said she was a great wife. You love her, or you think you love her because you don't want to lose her? There's a difference, especially if you don't want to lose her just because you're afraid of the unknown, which is a strong possibility since you have some personal issues. Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean it should continue. The recent events sound like the straw breaking the camels back. Women are much less likely to give up on marriage than men. So when they do, and she doesn't seem to be using it as a threat, I think it's over.
Take a step back and look at your marriage in it's entirety as if it was already over and it's a few years later. Was it worth saving? Was it a very good marriage where you were partners, supported each other and did things just to make the other happy? And don't look at it with lowered standards. You deserve better. Maybe she does too. Just because you've been married a long time doesn't mean it makes sense to stay together just because...

This is true but it’s cheaper to keep her. Too many guys I know got their freedom only to wind up living in locker room at work the maybe a studio apt in a soso neighborhood. Driving a hooptie forever. If alcohol play a large part address this because it clouds judgment and emotions.

 

[mitchxy1]

This is true but it’s cheaper to keep her. Too many guys I know got their freedom only to wind up living in locker room at work the maybe a studio apt in a soso neighborhood. Driving a hooptie forever. If alcohol play a large part address this because it clouds judgment and emotions.

Yes, I always read that divorce can be very costly. That and kids are the main reasons people don't go thru with it. It's a no win situation and all suffer, including the kids. Luckily, you don't have any.

 

[Nutleypo]

Having divorced 4 years ago I can say I was emotionally devastated and I didnt have the concerns most guys do. My wife was the breadwinner and I walked away with a house of my own paid off and a cash sum. If it wasnt for that I wouldn't have been able to afford mongering.

 

[radiofreak6969]

live together with no attachments...fuck it..open marriage...work it out that way

 

[Bricktop]

Having divorced 4 years ago I can say I was emotionally devastated and I didnt have the concerns most guys do. My wife was the breadwinner and I walked away with a house of my own paid off and a cash sum. If it wasnt for that I wouldn't have been able to afford mongering.

Wow that’s a new twist

 

[radiofreak6969]

and set the ground rules..i had a friend who worked that out the his wife a few years back..still together

 

[jim_hatez]

In regard to your post about trying to fix it... there is nothing wrong with trying. But you should plan for the worst in case it doesn't work, which is likely. I fear you are setting yourself up for prolonged pain and suffering. I hope I am wrong. But with someone who has anxiety/depression already, that can be used against you by your wife. After 16 years each of you know the other and what buttons they can hit. To me it sounds like you more want to try to save it because you are scared of the unknown that comes with divorce and becoming single again at this stage in life. Yes that is scary. Unfortunately all paths have plus and minus. Only you can decide, but when you make your decision, way out all the possible scenarios and do what you feel works best for you. As far as money, that should never be the primary driver behind staying in a marriage. Money comes and goes. I once was on another social forum (nothing to do with mongering) where guys were talking about their divorce. One member claimed he was very wealthy with his own business and a multi million dollar bank account, and in his divorce his wife somehow got almost everything. I don't remember all the details, but the part I want to share that I thought was relevant was this guy posted a year later after the dust settled. The jist of his post was it was rough, he lost almost everything, but he was now the happiest he has ever been in his adult life, and the cost was completely worth it to him. As he put it "Best money I ever spent". Sometimes when you are clinging to straw you feel like your life will be over if things fall apart. But if fear/depression is all that keeps you in your marriage it is bound to fail. If you really believe you two can fix the situation and live happily ever after I wish you the best. I just hope you protect yourself and do some legwork now in case you have to pivot quickly, to protect yourself as best as possible. Again, I wish you good luck, and a good future.

jim

 

[Honda]

Just a little update. I had hope that she would come around and decide to go to marriage counseling. That got shut down this past Sunday. We talked and she told me she was done with the marriage and I came to terms with that. Fast forward you Monday, I jump in small car to not waste so much gas(my other car is a Suburban)to go to work. She had used it the day before. I need a tissue and look in the center armrest and find a travel size deodorant. I think that’s odd, why would she have one in there. Fast forward to Thursday morning. She has been working from home and we have a desk set up with her laptop and monitor in the living room. I just pass by it and notice something about marriage on a scrap of paper. She works with health insurance so I figure that has something to do with it. I take a look at some of her other paperwork and find one with some work stuff on one side X’d out and on the other a list. It’s dated 5/28/20. A date she want to her best friends house for a graduation. But the list had a title on top stateing lunch and the list want like this
Razor
Condoms
Vodka/pineapple juice
Favorite T-shirt
We never used condoms so she’s been seeing someone while we go toward this divorce. I’ve been respectful so far. Should I say something to her?

 

[mitchxy1]

Just a little update. I had hope that she would come around and decide to go to marriage counseling. That got shut down this past Sunday. We talked and she told me she was done with the marriage and I came to terms with that. Fast forward you Monday, I jump in small car to not waste so much gas(my other car is a Suburban)to go to work. She had used it the day before. I need a tissue and look in the center armrest and find a travel size deodorant. I think that’s odd, why would she have one in there. Fast forward to Thursday morning. She has been working from home and we have a desk set up with her laptop and monitor in the living room. I just pass by it and notice something about marriage on a scrap of paper. She works with health insurance so I figure that has something to do with it. I take a look at some of her other paperwork and find one with some work stuff on one side X’d out and on the other a list. It’s dated 5/28/20. A date she want to her best friends house for a graduation. But the list had a title on top stateing lunch and the list want like this
Razor
Condoms
Vodka/pineapple juice
Favorite T-shirt
We never used condoms so she’s been seeing someone while we go toward this divorce. I’ve been respectful so far. Should I say something to her?

She's been playing dirty this whole time and NOT respecting you. Her intentions seem pretty clear by now. Even though you're both in the middle of problem solving, she isn't taking it seriously and is moving on. You want to take the high road and act respectfully and that's admirable, but it will get you nowhere. You need to be devious now and dig up all the evidence you can secretly. It might make a difference come divorce time, which seems imminent. Saying something to her will not make you feel better. I know, I get into arguments with my wife ALL the time whenever I say something.
ALL's fair in love and WAR!

 

[Wayne1250]

My suggestion is that airing one''s personal marital problems is not appropriate on this site. I do wish you, Honda, the best of luck with your future.

 

[DarkNight7]

Just a little update. I had hope that she would come around and decide to go to marriage counseling. That got shut down this past Sunday. We talked and she told me she was done with the marriage and I came to terms with that. Fast forward you Monday, I jump in small car to not waste so much gas(my other car is a Suburban)to go to work. She had used it the day before. I need a tissue and look in the center armrest and find a travel size deodorant. I think that’s odd, why would she have one in there. Fast forward to Thursday morning. She has been working from home and we have a desk set up with her laptop and monitor in the living room. I just pass by it and notice something about marriage on a scrap of paper. She works with health insurance so I figure that has something to do with it. I take a look at some of her other paperwork and find one with some work stuff on one side X’d out and on the other a list. It’s dated 5/28/20. A date she want to her best friends house for a graduation. But the list had a title on top stateing lunch and the list want like this
Razor
Condoms
Vodka/pineapple juice
Favorite T-shirt
We never used condoms so she’s been seeing someone while we go toward this divorce. I’ve been respectful so far. Should I say something to her?

Dude. I’m sorry to say this, but you are posting beta male vibes. You need to step your alfa game up. Either fuck the shit out of her consistently and do some of the husband duties she asked. Eat pussy. Hell, eat ass. Don’t get lazy. OR. Let it be, get in shape, and start boning real girls in real life. Download a few dating apps, get some nice photos taken, and live that single life. Have you a stable of 3-4 chicks and try to get over it. She clearly thinks you’re a cuck by blatantly disrespecting you. She’s probably gotten her sugar walls dicked down for a while by now.

 

[yougen]

From what I read, Honda should really move on. There is no point trying to save the marriage that's already dead. She has made up her mind to leave. You both have jobs and no kids, you won't lose much if you do it right. Since she is the one who wants to leave, you are in a better position to negotiate a deal. After that, you can enjoy all the activities of mongering, at any time.

 

[Honda]

Dude. I’m sorry to say this, but you are posting beta male vibes. You need to step your alfa game up. Either fuck the shit out of her consistently and do some of the husband duties she asked. Eat pussy. Hell, eat ass. Don’t get lazy. OR. Let it be, get in shape, and start boning real girls in real life. Download a few dating apps, get some nice photos taken, and live that single life. Have you a stable of 3-4 chicks and try to get over it. She clearly thinks you’re a cuck by blatantly disrespecting you. She’s probably gotten her sugar walls dicked down for a while by now.

It’s true I’am a beta male. I’ve ate her pussy and ass. I guess not enough!!!!

 

[Honda]

It’s true I’am a beta male. I’ve ate her pussy and ass. I guess not enough!!!!

Also after she had weight loss surgery. Her libido went threw the roof. She wanted it every second of every day. I work 6 days a week, 60 plus hours a week. Travel about 100 miles round trip to work and back home. Up around 4:30 every day. I couldn’t everyday.

 

[TONY88]

Mr. Honda, I'm sorry to read about what's been going on in your life. Things have not gotten better, unfortunately.

At this point I would not say anything to her. Because whatever you say will be met with indifference or perhaps even some cruel kind of amusement. Accept that it's over. You have been engaging in this hobby for some time and at some point not given your ex enough attention/sex that she needed.

There will be pain for some time but perhaps by next spring or summer you'll see that the sun is shining and you'll feel confident and/or ready to start pursuing and dating someone new. If that is not the case then treat yourself to a spa girl once a week if you can afford it! Good luck sir and please continue to keep us posted on your situation!