Here’s my story. I’m a sex addict. Not like most of you who can have fun mongering year after year and only end up losing time and money. My loss is my mind, my sanity. I remember my first rub tug, my first fs. I’ve been trying to find that high till this day. But even those sessions brought guilt, shame, confusion, paranoia, anxiety. What if I get caught? Exposed? What if I caught something? Time after time, I run to get tested, always clean, but my mind says what if? I don’t feel well, maybe a false negative? I pray to god and tell him to forgive me, that it will be the last time, but I’ve already told him the same thing before. Why do I continue to put myself through this misery. That’s when I found out I’m a true addict. I tried limiting the hobby, only getting hj’s. Those turned to CBJ’s. I even gave up 3 years only for the devil to lure me back harder than before. My last date, something felt off. I felt so out of touch, so distant from what I was doing that it clicked and I’m done with this life. There’s absolutely no pleasure, only sadness. I’m planning on joining SAA meetings, going to therapy and getting tested one last time. Please pray for me brothers and hope I leave the game healthy and regain my life and mind back. Thank you for listening
