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Farewell from a sad monger….. I hope

twotimesone

Review Contributor
Messages: 558
Reviews: 33
Joined
This reminds me of my OCD when I was an sort of a day trader about 20 years ago, when I have unhealthy thoughts about losing money, accleration about winning money and other things that keep me from doing my normal job during the day.

To the OP. If you don't mind me asking, are you married, if so, do you do it with your wife? You said that you are afraid of getting STD's because of spreading it to your wife? I've had some of that obcession years ago. Just curious.
 

headsup

Review Contributor
Messages: 397
Reviews: 48
Joined
This thread is actually one of the more positive conversations I have seen on here. In terms of the subject matter at least. To OP: best of luck brother. I believe people can break out. Why im commenting: I think im out. Cold turkey. I make a lot less than some of you guys, and ive always been aware its an addiction for me personally, because I budget quite a lot for it. I met a girl a few months ago and slowed down, quite a bit. Spent more money on her than I could hobbying, tried to be the best man I can be for her, but she got scared of the commitment etc and (I wasnt perfect as hard as I tried to be) so she broke it off today. I immediately dived into the hobby and found someone to see and left 5 minutes ago thinking of this thread. It was the most mechanical fucking session ive ever had, and honestly, it made me feel more shitty and probably the most depressed ive ever been. Not saying this for attention, but jump off a bridge depressed (struggled with the self worth thing for a while/whats the point kind of shit). I cared for this girl deeply and to go from having amazing sex with someone you really cared about to that was shocking. I thought the hobby would be a crutch for me, but i definitely went to the wrong place. Why im writing it here is because I cant vent to anyone else, but also because it helps to write it out and understand that im unhappy. That it needs to be changed. Like a promise to myself. Anyway good luck OP. And hopefully im strong enough to join you. To you guys that enjoy it, in a healthy and safe way or dont and dont see it as a problem, keep having a blast honestly. But I want out.
Keep on keeping on. I had a myriad of different experiences with the ladies. It all comes back to:
- do not isolate yourself
- laugh a little at yourself; do not be so hard on yourself
- Every guy has had to get some courage to approach a woman. Whether it works or not, it was a good thing you did, points on your scoreboard!

Now get out there and start celebrating those points.
 

Notmejohn666

The Lonely Monger
Messages: 210
Reviews: 10
Joined
This thread is actually one of the more positive conversations I have seen on here. In terms of the subject matter at least. To OP: best of luck brother. I believe people can break out. Why im commenting: I think im out. Cold turkey. I make a lot less than some of you guys, and ive always been aware its an addiction for me personally, because I budget quite a lot for it. I met a girl a few months ago and slowed down, quite a bit. Spent more money on her than I could hobbying, tried to be the best man I can be for her, but she got scared of the commitment etc and (I wasnt perfect as hard as I tried to be) so she broke it off today. I immediately dived into the hobby and found someone to see and left 5 minutes ago thinking of this thread. It was the most mechanical fucking session ive ever had, and honestly, it made me feel more shitty and probably the most depressed ive ever been. Not saying this for attention, but jump off a bridge depressed (struggled with the self worth thing for a while/whats the point kind of shit). I cared for this girl deeply and to go from having amazing sex with someone you really cared about to that was shocking. I thought the hobby would be a crutch for me, but i definitely went to the wrong place. Why im writing it here is because I cant vent to anyone else, but also because it helps to write it out and understand that im unhappy. That it needs to be changed. Like a promise to myself. Anyway good luck OP. And hopefully im strong enough to join you. To you guys that enjoy it, in a healthy and safe way or dont and dont see it as a problem, keep having a blast honestly. But I want out.
Good luck to you too brother. Wish I could give you some advice but I’m in your exact situation. SAA or therapy is a great start. You just have to be willing to be 100 percent honest. That’s been the hardest part for me. Been hiding for so long that I forget those things are supposed to be safe places to be free with your thoughts and actions.
 

Notmejohn666

The Lonely Monger
Messages: 210
Reviews: 10
Joined
This reminds me of my OCD when I was an sort of a day trader about 20 years ago, when I have unhealthy thoughts about losing money, accleration about winning money and other things that keep me from doing my normal job during the day.

To the OP. If you don't mind me asking, are you married, if so, do you do it with your wife? You said that you are afraid of getting STD's because of spreading it to your wife? I've had some of that obcession years ago. Just curious.
I’ve been diagnosed with OCD so it’s really hard to differentiate between addiction and OCD in this subject matter. No not married. I don’t think one needs to be married to be afraid of STD’s or to fear indirectly infecting other mongers and sex workers. I can’t continue hobbying with these thoughts.
 
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