Totally hear you, and at first, it was hard to fathom that you had ZERO possibilities, but then after digging into it, I didn't realize just how small your potential pool was.
I think, at 42 years of age, you SHOULD be picky...you don't want to just "settle". No need for you to waste time and money chasing someone that's not marriage, or even relationship material.
But definitely read the article that I mentioned, because it makes some good points about dating in general. And I think you might possibly have to expand your reach in other ways, even geographically. If you think about it, as we get older, the potential places to meet someone new is quite limited...it's either within your own circle of friends who can potentially introduce you (limited), or at work (which is usually not a good idea anyway), or at places that are part of your every day life (gyms, church (if you're religious), and other places.
Have you tried attending Meetup events that are catered to your interest? Whether that's golf or wine tasting or foodie groups...you like history and comic conventions...I'm sure you can find an event that's interesting to you. And not necessarily with the single goal of meeting new women, but just new people in general to expand your network. You should try to expand that circle of people you know, so that your pool has a shot of becoming larger.
I'm not suggesting you're doing a similar thing, but it's like looking for a new job...if all you're doing is just simply applying to job postings online, and not getting a call back for an interview, what do you do? Just sit there and hope something will turn up, or do you go out and send dozens of blind emails and phone calls and tap your network for leads, and then follow up again and again? The latter, I would hope, because one needs to be proactive and put in the time and effort to make things happen, instead of leaving it to chance. Why should it be any different for dating?
I wouldn't say online dating doesn't work...I would say it's a lot of work, and a lot of filtering, trial and error, and experimentation to come up with a strategy that works for you. But it's also not the be all, end all...think of it as just one tool in your arsenal...you have to utilize everything at your disposal, if you want to better your odds.
I think, at 42 years of age, you SHOULD be picky...you don't want to just "settle". No need for you to waste time and money chasing someone that's not marriage, or even relationship material.
But definitely read the article that I mentioned, because it makes some good points about dating in general. And I think you might possibly have to expand your reach in other ways, even geographically. If you think about it, as we get older, the potential places to meet someone new is quite limited...it's either within your own circle of friends who can potentially introduce you (limited), or at work (which is usually not a good idea anyway), or at places that are part of your every day life (gyms, church (if you're religious), and other places.
Have you tried attending Meetup events that are catered to your interest? Whether that's golf or wine tasting or foodie groups...you like history and comic conventions...I'm sure you can find an event that's interesting to you. And not necessarily with the single goal of meeting new women, but just new people in general to expand your network. You should try to expand that circle of people you know, so that your pool has a shot of becoming larger.
I'm not suggesting you're doing a similar thing, but it's like looking for a new job...if all you're doing is just simply applying to job postings online, and not getting a call back for an interview, what do you do? Just sit there and hope something will turn up, or do you go out and send dozens of blind emails and phone calls and tap your network for leads, and then follow up again and again? The latter, I would hope, because one needs to be proactive and put in the time and effort to make things happen, instead of leaving it to chance. Why should it be any different for dating?
I wouldn't say online dating doesn't work...I would say it's a lot of work, and a lot of filtering, trial and error, and experimentation to come up with a strategy that works for you. But it's also not the be all, end all...think of it as just one tool in your arsenal...you have to utilize everything at your disposal, if you want to better your odds.
Yeah- it’s good to be picky with any long term relationship. Casual sex or even casual dating- there are tons more options. It doesn’t matter much at all. But long term? Different story altogether.
I will check out that article. I do get out to a lot of these events but I always strike out. I was actually had a comic convention a couple weeks ago and struck up a conversation with a woman in line and it was great and then she literally just walked off mid conversation. It’s always stuff like that. I’ve actually had quite a few women literally just abruptly walk off. It doesn’t go anywhere. There is no interest. It’s not that I’m bad looking or weird. It’s just how things are.
I agree that online dating can work but it’s work if you just go on there and like a bunch of profiles you won’t get much. Most women on there get 5000 likes a month. They don’t see you.