Mixed Marriages with Asian Women

[Srhsrh]

I can’t speak for Japan so much, but I have done a lot of work in China, Thailand and Laos, and Korea. It was very normal and frequent for me to get taken out for dinner with senior management (all men) of the company, and also very normal for these nights to be designated for wives/family or for mistresses/girlfriends/escorts. Confusing to me at first, I thought I’d memorized the wives of the main guys I work with, only to have them show up with another batch of women the next night . And it was a minefield for me to figure out how to behave on these girlfriend nights (I’m not married -no problem there, but do I lose face by hiring an escort? Or do I lose face by not having a girl?)
I talked once to a wife in Laos I got close to about it, and her answer was that they could afford it, he was a good husband and provider, and as long as it was just sexual she didn’t care. She went on to say it would be different if she was in child bearing years and they were struggling to have kids. But with that done, as long as he didn’t keep to the same girl all the time, and made it home for the kids often, she didn’t care.
My point is that culture is vastly different in Asia and it’s foolish to project your western ideals onto an Asian woman. Although I do think it is evolving over there as the world gets smaller, and was much more true 20 years ago than it is today.

So it’s very believable to me a man can have a good marriage with a Japanese wife, and get allowed to play for pay.

 

[Massage Vet]

Ok, preferences or discrimination? Maybe both, but definitely the latter.
"the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex. "
There you go, sex, AND race in the case of Asian men.
Preferences are you like blonds, short, heavy, smart, athletic, assertive, funny etc.
Any of you non-Asians on here, if you walk in to an AMP and they tell you they don't service your kind(white, black, hispanic, Indian), would you feel discriminated against or just feel like they just prefer other ethnicities, oh well?

@mitchxy1 Its preference when were talking about the physical attraction of a relationship. Its descrimination when it comes to the amp's deciding if they dont service a certain race or person.

What your anger (very obvious) is showing us is the reality that you either hate being asian or hate that your not something other than asian.

 

[benzy45]

No, my argument was basically, if it gets a young woman in the mood for fucking, I’ll lie there while she rubs my back, or sticks her tongue in my ass and listen to it. I passed on BlackPink tix I got to a spa Kgirl a while back and I’m still reaping benefits. And it cost me nothing.


I don’t really like BTS, but there’s plenty of good music out there. It’s a fair point that instrumental quality isn’t as good right now though. Too much electronic music and focus on vocals. But vocalists are as good now as they ever were. Production quality is miles above the concerts I went to as a kid. Ariana, Drake, Taylor, Selena, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry are all awesome, and there’s a lot of Chinese and Korean singers you’ve never heard of that are very good. And they all sell as well as people from your era do. I’m old enough to have seen a few of the bands mentioned live, but the best shows I’ve been to ever were Bruno Mars, and Lenny Kravitz.

Sorry for wandering off topic. It’s just reminding me of a conversation I had with my grandmother in the 70’s when I went to a Zeppelin concert. She was a Lawrence Welk fan.

Notable that u mentioned nearly all female artists. Understandable cuz current black male musical/vocal talent pales in comparison to previous generations. Drake as a vocal talent? C'mon man! Any of those female artists in Whitney Houston's league? No way.

 

[Srhsrh]

Yes, I’ve always had a personal bias towards female singers. I mentioned Drake, because I like him, and he’s basically the number 1 artist in the world right now. Whitney Houston belongs on my list, I forgot about her. It’s hard for me to evaluate a lot of rap artists. I don’t like it, don’t understand what makes good and what’s bad. But I’d probably listen if the girl I was with wanted it on.

Just like how if she was my girlfriend I’d expect her to go to ball games and learn something about football, or go to a steak restaurant. A mixed marriage has to mean some mixing of the cultures. And it’s foolish to prejudge something, like modern music, and say it all sucks and my stuff is better forever.

I used to be like that on western medicine, thinking all this eastern medicine is backwards and stupid. But boy have I learned better now. That’s another good thing I picked up from associating with Chinese girls.

We will see what sticks in 200 years in terms of music. I’m betting people will still be playing Mozart and Beethoven, but nobody will even know who Led Zeppelin, the Stones, or BTS is. Sadly I expect the only modern group that has that kind of legs, is the Beatles, who I don’t really like.

 

[benzy45]

Yes, I’ve always had a personal bias towards female singers. I mentioned Drake, because I like him, and he’s basically the number 1 artist in the world right now. Whitney Houston belongs on my list, I forgot about her. It’s hard for me to evaluate a lot of rap artists. I don’t like it, don’t understand what makes good and what’s bad. But I’d probably listen if the girl I was with wanted it on.

Just like how if she was my girlfriend I’d expect her to go to ball games and learn something about football, or go to a steak restaurant. A mixed marriage has to mean some mixing of the cultures. And it’s foolish to prejudge something, like modern music, and say it all sucks and my stuff is better forever.

I used to be like that on western medicine, thinking all this eastern medicine is backwards and stupid. But boy have I learned better now. That’s another good thing I picked up from associating with Chinese girls.

We will see what sticks in 200 years in terms of music. I’m betting people will still be playing Mozart and Beethoven, but nobody will even know who Led Zeppelin, the Stones, or BTS is. Sadly I expect the only modern group that has that kind of legs, is the Beatles, who I don’t really like.

We have more common ground than I thought. Rap is complete gar-bage. I wouldn't even call it music. I can't even consider Drake as a serious vocal talent regardless of his popularity. This seems like an empty era for music tbh but to each his own.

 

[Srhsrh]

I think music is less serious right now, but I still see talent. I just mean that music is a background for other activity right now; dancing, drinking, chatter. Even concerts are like that now. It isn’t the artists, they just make what sells.

It’s just total crap to write off a whole generation, or pick a song and say that ended good music. Pop music is by definition, popular music, stuff that people of that generation listen too. People have been complaining about those young kids and the crap that kids listen to, my whole life, which is pretty much since Elvis was King, and Chuck Berry was the best guitar. I’d rather just evolve. I like listening to new music.

I also think Korean music is going to dominate over the next few years, as more artists collaborate with American artists. Rap is tiresome, and not artistic. Korean music is more about melodies, cleaner. Admittedly it’s lighter and more filled with hooks.

I forgot to mention AC/DC when mentioning concerts, mostly cause I’ve been so so many times. Way back when people would be loud, but they were listening. The last time I went a couple years ago, people were more interested in photos, chatter and fighting than they were in music.

 

[TGBeldin]

We will see what sticks in 200 years in terms of music. I’m betting people will still be playing Mozart and Beethoven, but nobody will even know who Led Zeppelin, the Stones, or BTS is. Sadly I expect the only modern group that has that kind of legs, is the Beatles, who I don’t really like.

I agree, much of what we hear now, or in the 70s, or in the 30s will fade away. But I think you are probably being a little harsh. Some music is for the tones and sounds--such as Mozart--and the good ones will speak to souls for hundreds of years. Others are a message, and singers like Bob Dylan didn't sell records because of their voice--their message resonated with the whole VN war environment. That kind of music will recycle back when the world/national situation again resonates with it. If you include a broad range of music, each decade has its keepers.

Every era is convinced their music is the apex of the art form--those before were stogy, those after, are junk/fluff. Only those of my era are right, of course.

 

[KittyHawk]

Since this thread has morphed into a discussion of music, I guess I can comment. I go back before the phrase ""Rock and Roll" was coined. I still remember listening to my mother's Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett on 78 rpm vinyl. When we started listening to R&B we were hounded, but not strictly because of the music itself. The other aspect, to put it politely was that it wasn't "white music". We had to fight for it and there was enough hostility to separate "our music" from "their music". Overall I have seen a deterioration in music along with most things in this world. I found that best summed up in the title of a Facebook page. "What parents condone, children will embrace." 'Bout says it all for me. It seems that the only thing that steadily advances is technology and that seems to get used to control or kill people. Morally, I think we are in a steady decline.

 

[benzy45]

Since this thread has morphed into a discussion of music, I guess I can comment. I go back before the phrase ""Rock and Roll" was coined. I still remember listening to my mother's Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett on 78 rpm vinyl. When we started listening to R&B we were hounded, but not strictly because of the music itself. The other aspect, to put it politely was that it wasn't "white music". We had to fight for it and there was enough hostility to separate "our music" from "their music". Overall I have seen a deterioration in music along with most things in this world. I found that best summed up in the title of a Facebook page. "What parents condone, children will embrace." 'Bout says it all for me. It seems that the only thing that steadily advances is technology and that seems to get used to control or kill people. Morally, I think we are in a steady decline.

Wasn't all that long ago (early 1980s) that MTV refused to play music videos by black artists.

To me the best concerts I ever attended were Earth, Wind & Fire concerts in the late 1970s. And the amazing thing was the crowd was 50/50 black and white. With no issues.

 

[Hardrobert]

When I was just a wee lad in my early 20s I had a SO who was just turning 30. I had to travel a great deal in my job. She would always say to me "drunk and out of town doesn't count. Just dont talk to them". She also used to say "I don't want to know ". She was American.

 

[KittyHawk]

Wasn't all that long ago (early 1980s) that MTV refused to play music videos by black artists.

To me the best concerts I ever attended were Earth, Wind & Fire concerts in the late 1970s. And the amazing thing was the crowd was 50/50 black and white. With no issues.

We did a Temptations show last year. The crowd was 98% white. (Only one original member still performing).

 

[KittyHawk]

When I was just a wee lad in my early 20s I had a SO who was just turning 30. I had to travel a great deal in my job. She would always say to me "drunk and out of town doesn't count. Just dont talk to them". She also used to say "I don't want to know ". She was American.

Can't relate. I've been with one woman for 55 yrs, married for 49 of them. Sometimes I do get some small twinges of regret.

 

[mitchxy1]

@mitchxy1 Its preference when were talking about the physical attraction of a relationship. Its descrimination when it comes to the amp's deciding if they dont service a certain race or person.

What your anger (very obvious) is showing us is the reality that you either hate being asian or hate that your not something other than asian.

Call it what you want. The definition is the definition.

 

[Massage Vet]

Call it what you want. The definition is the definition.

Well, good luck finding that, 1 out of 100, asian lady that regrets not choosing a nice prejudice asian guy like you over her non asian non prejudice hubby.

 

[TGBeldin]

Call it what you want. The definition is the definition.

No, they are not the same. As people have told you, but you do not wish to hear, they are differen terms with different meanings.

Every man or woman who gets married has a preference for that person over others.

In the legal sence, or the moral sence, not every married person is discriminatory. You seem to have some issue differentiating between a woman who doesn't like you, one who doesn't like your race in general, and one who refuses to do business with a whole race.

It isn't that hard to understand--suggest you ponder it a while.

 

[mitchxy1]

No, they are not the same. As people have told you, but you do not wish to hear, they are differen terms with different meanings.

every man or woman who gets married has a preference for that person over others.

In the legal sence, or the moral sence, not every married person is discriminatory. You seem to have some issue differentiating between a woman who doesn't like you, one who doesn't like your race in general, and one who refuses to do business with a whole race.

It isn't that hard to understand--suggest you ponder it a while.

Sorry TG, respectfully disagree. If you refuse to do business with an entire race/sex, for no good reason except that you don't like them, that's discrimination. Really don't know how the definition doesn't seem to apply. Even your sentence "every man or woman who gets married has a preference for that person over others" points out that it is the "person", not the nationality. The only time the nationality should be preferred is when it is your own, as it is more natural to feel most comfortable with your own. A familiar culture, language, appearance and values make it easier. If I said that I refuse to date Black women, or Hispanic women, for no good reason other than the fact they are Black/Hispanic, is that not discrimination? Then you might say that I "prefer" not to date them, maybe because I'm not as comfortable with certain nationalities. Well, then Asian women really don't have a leg to stand on there, do they?
I don't know your nationality, but I would say you probably haven't felt discriminated against. As an Asian, I've felt it most of my life in many situations, not just as a potential partner. Maybe if a few Asian men chimed in against me, I'd be willing to soften my stance. Until then, I'm done with this exchange. Unfortunately, I was hoping to have my original question answered to a greater degree, but that's not happening.

But thanks for not lowering yourself with using insults to support your stance, which is why I'm replying to you.

 

[Massage Vet]

Sorry TG, respectfully disagree. If you refuse to do business with an entire race/sex, for no good reason except that you don't like them, that's discrimination. Really don't know how the definition doesn't seem to apply. Even your sentence "every man or woman who gets married has a preference for that person over others" points out that it is the "person", not the nationality. The only time the nationality should be preferred is when it is your own, as it is more natural to feel most comfortable with your own. A familiar culture, language, appearance and values make it easier. If I said that I refuse to date Black women, or Hispanic women, for no good reason other than the fact they are Black/Hispanic, is that not discrimination? Then you might say that I "prefer" not to date them, maybe because I'm not as comfortable with certain nationalities. Well, then Asian women really don't have a leg to stand on there, do they?
I don't know your nationality, but I would say you probably haven't felt discriminated against. As an Asian, I've felt it most of my life in many situations, not just as a potential partner. Maybe if a few Asian men chimed in against me, I'd be willing to soften my stance. Until then, I'm done with this exchange. Unfortunately, I was hoping to have my original question answered to a greater degree, but that's not happening.

But thanks for not lowering yourself with using insults to support your stance, which is why I'm replying to you.

Weak. You are prejudice and if you dont see it take a look at yourself in the mirror. I'm Latin and have been discriminated against my whole life. I have dated many Latin women, many afro american, white, and asian women. BUT I PREFER asian women. I love all women. Any race. I dont discriminate against any race.

I PREFER what women interest me the most. Not because they are my own race.

Your argument is filled with hate and anger.

No Asian men will chime in because they dont want to join your 1940's views.

 

[Massage Vet]

Targeted harassment from Asian men toward Asian women over choosing a non-Asian partner or having multiracial children, is widespread, vicious and devastating. No one should entertain mitchys racially prejudice views any further.

Peace

 

[RickeyRomance]

We have more common ground than I thought. Rap is complete gar-bage. I wouldn't even call it music. I can't even consider Drake as a serious vocal talent regardless of his popularity. This seems like an empty era for music tbh but to each his own.

Drake is a hybrid rapper/singer. Pure lyric driven hip-hop is pretty awesome but it's cultural. If you're not of that culture or appreciate that culture, you won't get it. Rappers like Jadakiss, KRS-ONE, Eminem, Black Thought, Big Daddy Kane, Rapsody, Big Pun. All geniuses in their wordplay.

 

[didi88]

I agree with American women, but have had much better luck with Asians.

I’d intermittently date white American women for years, and while the older ones would agree to sex, it definitely had the feel of doing it because they had to if they were gonna get married. And forget about asking them to do anything “kinky” like bjcim.

Then I’d date these Chinese women, 45 and up to mid fifties. Pretty much anything you can describe or show them, they try with enthusiasm. Not talking about spa girls, just regular women I’ve dated. I’m sure part of it is that same marriage motivation, but they certainly get into it a lot more. And from what they say about their ex-Chinese husbands, their previous sex life was pretty drab..

I’ve heard this too, and I’m sure there’s some truth to it. However, when it comes from an AMP girl, take it with a grain of salt. They just say that so the white guy customer will feel better about his sexual prowess. Sort of another version of “You so strong”..